My favorite parts are the hat tips to the conspiracy theories about nut oils and additives (like guar gum). Oh, yeah - I’m glad their favorite “unprocessed” (unpasteurized) cow’s milk gets a nod.

Thank you, Dr. Weirdy McBrainworm!

A contradictory mess? Unpossible says the brain worm!

Focus on whole grains, but according to the guidelines’ website, preferred grains include “true sourdough.”

Big Sourdough’s been holding out on us!

Why should we listen to a non-scientist, heroin addict, talking baked potato like him?