It’s sad things like this that make me think, it’s too bad church is all fucked up with religion. Because “Entire families, plus any single individuals, get washed and dressed up, then join under the stained-glass windows to sit and stand and sing and go through the motions, while all the eligible sweeties pretend they’re not checking out all the other eligible sweeties, and have a whole hour to think of something to say to them over the coffee and cookies afterwards. Repeat weekly” is pretty much how a lot of people found partners for generations. Especially those whose families couldn’t afford ballrooms and country clubs.
I actually found one in my neighborhood! It is called “Unitarian Universalist”, it is for secular and religious, everybody is welcome, you just have to agree to love each other, etc.
i just don’t like how it keeps so many trappings of traditional protestant church services, i mean i know why to attract more people since that is the dominant cultural force but just doesn’t sit right with me to ruminate over the bible and pretend it is some enlightened tome of truth in a supposedly secular context
There are of course things like hobby clubs you can join but you have to get lucky with those. There risk that you will just be distracted and end up with an expensive hobby.
No. College is: expensive, heavily skews young, has a lot of homework, has tests, and generally represents a significant time commitment.
Realistically, I should probably put more effort into finding a suitable recurring volunteer opportunity. Something that is based on personal values would presumably help with finding like-minded people while also engaging in an activity that is inherently meaningful to me.
i’d like to keep in mind that flirting with women in a work (or education) related environment is considered sexual harassment, which is not so the case outside (like 3rd spaces).
I’m probably being too generous with what I’m calling community center, I should edit it. As an example, in my head I was picturing a local park which my city has folks come and perform at and such. It’s just a stage in a park but there are events there.
I was raised going to UCC churches, it was standard practice at all of them. Many also used King’s Hawaiian Bread for Communion.
And they’re one of the LGBTQ-friendliest denominations, although because they’re non-hierarchical the individual churches vary. You can see if there’s one near you.
It’s sad things like this that make me think, it’s too bad church is all fucked up with religion. Because “Entire families, plus any single individuals, get washed and dressed up, then join under the stained-glass windows to sit and stand and sing and go through the motions, while all the eligible sweeties pretend they’re not checking out all the other eligible sweeties, and have a whole hour to think of something to say to them over the coffee and cookies afterwards. Repeat weekly” is pretty much how a lot of people found partners for generations. Especially those whose families couldn’t afford ballrooms and country clubs.
I’d probably be open to the concept of a secular church. Not for dating, but just for platonic socialization and community.
I think there are some Unitarian Universalist churches that are secular
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism?useskin=vector#Beliefs_and_practices
In my experience with three different UU congregations, they can be pretty varied.
My former city had one that was Protestant-lite, one that was nearly neopagan, and one that was so insular that I felt unwelcome as a visitor.
I actually found one in my neighborhood! It is called “Unitarian Universalist”, it is for secular and religious, everybody is welcome, you just have to agree to love each other, etc.
i just don’t like how it keeps so many trappings of traditional protestant church services, i mean i know why to attract more people since that is the dominant cultural force but just doesn’t sit right with me to ruminate over the bible and pretend it is some enlightened tome of truth in a supposedly secular context
It must depend on the area of the country; we never hear about the bible. But we have heard from Pagans and Zen Buddhists.
There are of course things like hobby clubs you can join but you have to get lucky with those. There risk that you will just be distracted and end up with an expensive hobby.
so a college?
cries in engineering
There are no women, no natural light, and if you’re lucky, someone other than the prof has showered today.
I am exaggerating, but not by much (:
Do what I did. Take psych for your social sciences. There were like three women for every man. Do not regret.
No. College is: expensive, heavily skews young, has a lot of homework, has tests, and generally represents a significant time commitment.
Realistically, I should probably put more effort into finding a suitable recurring volunteer opportunity. Something that is based on personal values would presumably help with finding like-minded people while also engaging in an activity that is inherently meaningful to me.
i’d like to keep in mind that flirting with women in a work (or education) related environment is considered sexual harassment, which is not so the case outside (like 3rd spaces).
Unitarian Universalist churches exist, but things like parks or community centers where events are held are probably more what you’re looking for.
IME community centers are more like gyms and activity centers. But I suppose they could vary by region and by individual community center.
I’m probably being too generous with what I’m calling community center, I should edit it. As an example, in my head I was picturing a local park which my city has folks come and perform at and such. It’s just a stage in a park but there are events there.
you get coffee and cookies?
I was raised going to UCC churches, it was standard practice at all of them. Many also used King’s Hawaiian Bread for Communion.
And they’re one of the LGBTQ-friendliest denominations, although because they’re non-hierarchical the individual churches vary. You can see if there’s one near you.
https://www.ucc.org/church-finder/