In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, dating apps typically see a spike in new users and activity. More profiles are created, more messages sent, more swipes logged.
Dating platforms market themselves as modern technological solutions to loneliness, right at your fingertips. And yet, for many people, the day meant to celebrate romantic connection feels lonelier than ever.
This, rather than a personal failure or the reality of modern romance, is the outcome of how dating apps are designed and of the economic logic that governs them.
These digital tools aren’t simply interfaces that facilitate connection. The ease and expansiveness of online dating have commodified social bonds, eroded meaningful interactions and created a type of dating throw-away culture, encouraging a sense of disposability and distorting decision-making.
On essentially all of them, they went to a swipe right to like and a swipe left for no.
Except when actually trying to make a match, it’s more advantageous to literally swipe right on everyone to maximize matches and then unmatch if you match with someone you aren’t interested in.
But if you are swiping left, you will match with significantly fewer and potentially none. It becomes demoralizing. And it takes much longer to make a decision if you are looking at everyone including those that don’t match with you so you go through fewer people to potentially match with.
Wait until you match with someone to look at their pictures and their profile, and only then, decide whether to stay matched or unmatch.
I had quite a few short relationships from tinder and bumble. But some of those wouldn’t have happened if I were more picky at the swiping stage.
This isn’t true if their system punishes people for swiping “yes” on everyone. While I can’t be certain that’s the case, it seems very plausible it is. Swipe yes on everyone, your profile is down ranked, you don’t get as many good matches.
Additionally, tinder and hinge only allow you a limited number of yes swipes per day. If you blow them on the first ten profiles, you’re going to have worse results than if you spend a little longer looking at profiles.
Furthermore, on hinge, you can send a message with your like. Your chances of having a conversation and date go way down without a good message.
As a dude, I wasn’t matching while I was swiping often. I’d swipe in the morning and then see what came up through the day.
They may have changed their apps in the… 10 or so years since I used them. But the premise is the same, the more you swipe right on the better the odds of matching someone that swipes right on you. Even if you don’t swipe right on everyone, be extremely generous on your swipes.