It’s hard not to draw uncharitable conclusions when people you considered friends don’t reach out.
They may be struggling, but that’s an explanation not an excuse. The sadness experienced by the person who never gets called, never gets invited, and feels forgotten, is real.
You think about what they do spend time on. Who they do call. It invites comparison. Why did they invite them but not me? Do they not like me? Was it something I said? It’s impossible to know. They might not know themselves.
I follow a guideline of “follow their behavior, and if you have extra emotional energy then model the behavior you want to see”. If they reach out sometimes, I’ll reach out sometimes. If they don’t, I don’t, until I feel like I have the extra energy to risk them blowing me off or whatever.
It’s hard not to draw uncharitable conclusions when people you considered friends don’t reach out.
They may be struggling, but that’s an explanation not an excuse. The sadness experienced by the person who never gets called, never gets invited, and feels forgotten, is real.
You think about what they do spend time on. Who they do call. It invites comparison. Why did they invite them but not me? Do they not like me? Was it something I said? It’s impossible to know. They might not know themselves.
I follow a guideline of “follow their behavior, and if you have extra emotional energy then model the behavior you want to see”. If they reach out sometimes, I’ll reach out sometimes. If they don’t, I don’t, until I feel like I have the extra energy to risk them blowing me off or whatever.