The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Edit: sex worker is an interesting one, conceptually. Plenty of people talk about how “wrong” and “coercive” it can be (and they can be right!), but for some reason like to skip over the whole incentive coming from the exact same place as any other work done to make a living. They don’t do sexual things for money because people want them to, they do it because they need to pay bills.
On your edit… yes, and the problem there is that should be considered coercive for all work. We shouldn’t work for money. We should work because the work has value to the population. A lot of work is the opposite, and yet people do it because they have to pay the bills. Working in scam call centers is an extreme example.
There are people who go to sex clubs and such where they have sex with semi strangers and what not. There would probably be a lot more if it wasn’t considered taboo. So the “industry” as it is would not go away, it would change if paying the bills wasn’t the driver.
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex.
Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
Hm, they could. I don’t think that objectification is truly always a bad thing. It obviously sucks when people use you, but being ‘the friend with …’ can also be an excuse to see people more often. Kind of like how the social function of a lot of holidays is just to bring distant people together again.
Sexual objectification is of particular importance because it has ties to the cultural perception of women, rape culture, etc., but it’s also fine to just think your wife who you admire for her strong perserverance and creativity also has titties that are fire.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.
The whole “sex object” complaint never made sense to me tbh. Like I’ve always wanted “sex object” to be a part of my identity. It’s great for non-sexual stuff to be appreciated, but I’d want my partner to just be horny for me at least for a portion of the time.
It’s a problem when it’s all that your partner cares about. Sex is great, but the vast majority of the time you spend with your SO will not involve fucking. That other 90% is important too.
God I wish I could find a relationship that was 10% sex. I would actually try dating again.
I choose to read this as if you meant “only 10% sex” - because it amuses me, not because I think 10% is insufficient.
That would be a much better problem to have.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the problem is more about people other than your partner thinking like that.
I don’t know if it’s puritanical or what, but I think some people misunderstand sexual objectification to be a rejection of all sexual displays entirely. Like as an idiom, even.
On the idiom point, it’s entirely possible to objectify people in other ways, but I never really see anyone talk about them.
Some common ones: worker, consumer, commuter, fan, voter, reader, viewer, subscriber…
Edit: sex worker is an interesting one, conceptually. Plenty of people talk about how “wrong” and “coercive” it can be (and they can be right!), but for some reason like to skip over the whole incentive coming from the exact same place as any other work done to make a living. They don’t do sexual things for money because people want them to, they do it because they need to pay bills.
On your edit… yes, and the problem there is that should be considered coercive for all work. We shouldn’t work for money. We should work because the work has value to the population. A lot of work is the opposite, and yet people do it because they have to pay the bills. Working in scam call centers is an extreme example. There are people who go to sex clubs and such where they have sex with semi strangers and what not. There would probably be a lot more if it wasn’t considered taboo. So the “industry” as it is would not go away, it would change if paying the bills wasn’t the driver.
Being treated only as a font of knowledge, a hard worker, a reliable friend (when the friendship is otherwise not rewarding), having a lot of tools, etc, is kind of crappy. I at least get pleasure from sex. Honestly, if I had my druthers of how folks reduce me, I wouldn’t hate being valued for being good in bed.
I wonder if the friend with the truck ever feels like that.
Hm, they could. I don’t think that objectification is truly always a bad thing. It obviously sucks when people use you, but being ‘the friend with …’ can also be an excuse to see people more often. Kind of like how the social function of a lot of holidays is just to bring distant people together again.
Sexual objectification is of particular importance because it has ties to the cultural perception of women, rape culture, etc., but it’s also fine to just think your wife who you admire for her strong perserverance and creativity also has titties that are fire.
The key word here is object. When people complain about sexual objectification, most often they are complaining about people being treated as if they were sexual objects devoid of agency. There is nothing wrong with sex.