Can you guys suggest some reliable and secure selfhosted IM service? I’m kinda in a very bad spot right now, so any centralized messaging wouldn’t really work. And yeah, state sponsored mass surveillance is a question of concern. Sorry for odd phrasing, just really at a loss.

I heard of matrix, XMPP (heard good things about snikket.org), SimpleX and even some IRC wizardry over TOR. And I actually tried matrix (synapse server), but found it not reliable enough - sometimes skips a notification, periodic troubles with logging in, weird lack of voice calls on mobile client, and some other irritating, tiny hiccups. I’m open to any suggestion, really, even open to trying matrix once again. Just, please, describe why you think one option is better than the other.

And just FYI, use case is simply texting with friends and family, while avoiding state monitoring. Nothing nefarious

Update: Thank you, everyone! After some discussions with the lads, we decided to use XMPP (Prosody) as our main server, we also chose to use DeltaChat as a fallback. Both working great for a couple of days now. Again, thank you, everyone, for suggestions (and configs :) ), really helped me out