My wife’s and my 12th anniversary is this week… and she reminded me (again 🍆✊💦) that I usually miss our anniversaries because I’m out fucking mailboxes every night.

Not helped this year that there are still mailboxes in the world.

So I improvised instead of figuring out a solution.

This year, instead of making my wife sad, I wrote “I was at my own wedding” on every mailbox just before I fucked it.

If my wife isn’t satisfied with this solution, that’s her problem, not mine. I’m not here to compromise with things that aren’t those fuckable mailboxes.

Moments like this remind me how lucky I am that the mailboxes I fuck can’t move or talk while I tell them about my wife and then fuck them. It’s like they’re forced to be there.

We are all mailbox fuckers. For some people, shirking fatherhood is their mailbox fucking. For me, fucking a mailbox is my mailbox fucking … cheers guys!

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jgs   `"`      `"

ascii art artist