I bet you’re right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
And then I’ll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.
depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.
my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.
I’m not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She’s still somewhat there… You can tell she’s listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid… But she isn’t fully there. She sometimes doesn’t respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly… And there’s also the part of her needing help with everything… Yes, everything.
I’m just gonna say, the problem isn’t the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It’s a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven’t died yet… So you can’t really grieve, but they’re not really there either so you can’t really be happy. It’s emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.
I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.
So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm… we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / ‘eskimos’ had the right idea, you know? All I’m gonna say. You get the picture.
I’ve thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It’s like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don’t want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don’t to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.
I bet you’re right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
And then I’ll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.
So umm… Not to be a downer but,
depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.
my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.
I’m not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She’s still somewhat there… You can tell she’s listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid… But she isn’t fully there. She sometimes doesn’t respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly… And there’s also the part of her needing help with everything… Yes, everything.
I’m just gonna say, the problem isn’t the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It’s a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven’t died yet… So you can’t really grieve, but they’re not really there either so you can’t really be happy. It’s emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.
I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.
So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm… we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / ‘eskimos’ had the right idea, you know? All I’m gonna say. You get the picture.
That’s tough, that’s understandable.
In the meantime, I hope you have a wonderful and fulfilling life! A life that older you will look back on and smile, that it felt complete.
Best of luck out there.
Thanks, riquisimo. <3
I’ve thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It’s like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don’t want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don’t to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.
Yeah, good point. No easy solutions tbh.
Thank you for sharing. That’s rough, i feel for you. I’ll be there eventually too, with my father.
No downer, no worries
Thanks, friend. Good luck.