• bcgm3@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I had a girl cancel and reschedule our first date shortly before we were supposed to meet up. That date happened, and she confided in me that she’d done that on purpose to gauge my reaction and general demeanor before actually coming out to meet me. I respected that move, and I think I would have been okay with her bringing a friend instead, as long as it was just the once.

    Anyway, that was eight years ago, we’re married now.

    • WelcomeBear@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Nice that it worked out but deception and playing games would be a huge red flag for me. Nothing about that instance in particular, it’s just that I’d always wonder “is this situation for real or another trick?”

      Maybe the immediate followup fixes it. You were strangers then after all. And after eight years of course you know what you’re working with haha

      Damnit now I’m just rambling to myself, carry on!

    • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      You’re a dumbass for playing along with such insane bullshit but I’m glad it worked out for you.

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
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        19 hours ago

        I don’t think “begrudging women a single test to see if someone is the type to explode over a single inconvenience” is the right hill to stick your flag on.

        • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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          7 hours ago

          Trying to start a relationship by playing games is very much a good place to find red flags.

          • qarbone@lemmy.world
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            7 hours ago

            It might seem like a game to you but that’s someone’s life.

            Do you have an alternative for how they should determine if a potential partner is a danger? Besides hiring a private detective or rolling the dice by finding out after they’re invested?

            • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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              6 hours ago

              If you can’t trust a stranger even a little bit then don’t date complete strangers. Limit your dating pool to your circle of friends, friends of friends, people you already know or that your friends vouch for.

              • qarbone@lemmy.world
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                6 hours ago

                That is so utterly devoid of empathy that I have nothing left to say to you.

        • Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          17 hours ago

          Yeah, I’d say it’s a red flag except there are a ton of crazies that this quickly filters for them and keeps them safe from.

          So in an ideal world it would be bad, but it makes sense in the one we live in.