• Do your friends really like you, or are they just being nice out of pity?
• Did you leave the stove on?
• Really, did you leave it on?
• Hey, so this climate change thing looks pretty scary, huh? Probably not a good thing to leave your progeny to suffer through.
• On an unrelated note, when was your last period again?
• Fuck, now you’re gonna have to go to the drug store, pick up some tests and holy shit what are the abortion cutoffs in your state, again?
• What if you have to find an in-network provider for an appointment, call them, and face the possibility that they’re not taking new patients?
• Oh, that’s an itchy scalp, isn’t it? Better spend the next 30 minutes recording a zoomed in video as you look through each hair section and check for lice.
• Can humans get fleas?
• What if you have to fumigate? You can’t afford that.
• Your car’s sounding weird, don’t you think? What if it just had a catastrophic malfunction on the highway and you die in a horrific crash?
• I mean, at least then you won’t have to worry about the appointments, might be a relief.
• Do your friends really like you, or are they just being nice out of pity?
• Did you leave the stove on?
• Really, did you leave it on?
• Hey, so this climate change thing looks pretty scary, huh? Probably not a good thing to leave your progeny to suffer through.
• On an unrelated note, when was your last period again?
• Fuck, now you’re gonna have to go to the drug store, pick up some tests and holy shit what are the abortion cutoffs in your state, again?
• What if you have to find an in-network provider for an appointment, call them, and face the possibility that they’re not taking new patients?
• Oh, that’s an itchy scalp, isn’t it? Better spend the next 30 minutes recording a zoomed in video as you look through each hair section and check for lice.
• Can humans get fleas?
• What if you have to fumigate? You can’t afford that.
• Your car’s sounding weird, don’t you think? What if it just had a catastrophic malfunction on the highway and you die in a horrific crash?
• I mean, at least then you won’t have to worry about the appointments, might be a relief.
I mean this in the best way, fuck you for making me think about each of these in detail just as I was going to bed.
Didn’t have to read it.
I’m intentionally steering my eyes away from all the suggestions here, lol.
Bro my brain has been fucking me my whole life, get in line