They had these STD plushies at a store my family visited several years ago. My sister and I were checking them out, so I picked one up, read the tag, and told her “I got The Clap.” I assumed that she’d read the plushie she had picked up, tell me which one it was, we’d have a chuckle, and find something else to look at.

Apparently she hadn’t yet figured out that they were STD plushies, and thought I had chosen that moment to tell her in confidence about an STD I had contracted. It was pretty awkward, but it was at least nice to know that she’d have brought me to the doctor in secret if I’d needed her to!

I gave my ex roommate aids (also a plushie) I was sober as fuck when i did it 🤣

Hah. The disease plushies from thinkgeek.

Many years ago I got my SO herpes for Valentine’s Day. Funny joke. Everyone laughs. Roll on snare drum

I have syphilis on my shaft. The shaft of my torchiere lamp.

Also covid-19 hanging out on our projector screen. ^_

A friend from uni gave the exact same plushy to me and that fact he “gave me syphilis” became kind of a running gag.

A year later the younger brother of another guy from our friend group came to town. The first time we hang out together we talked about me recently moving and someone asked if I was able to properly set in with my syphilis and all the other stuff and little brothers face just started to crumble. The conversation took on for another few minutes until he looked so weirded out and confused and someone finally realized he’s not in on the joke and honestly started to think I have a very persistent case of syphilis given to me by someone from this friend group and everyone else being totally okay and normal about it.

This was the first and last time I saw that guy. I’ll forever remain syphilis girl for him and I don’t know how to feel about this

That thing would look nice wrapped around my dick.

I gave my sister food poisoning.

Ok ok. And what??