OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.
LMAO
That is savage AF!!!
80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.
Better be careful to not break both his arms
You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.
Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
Well yeah. Wipi g your chair isn’t gay.
Septic masculinity
This makes me angry
Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.
Being angry? That makes me even more angry!
I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn’t smell like poop.
The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.
Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…
With enough farting, it probably would.
Those Must be the smelliest ones on the face of the earth
I’l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP’s response to the GF’s complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.
I also judge this guy.
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
Guys like this get girlfriends and yet I’m still single.
I know. Straight girls cannot have standards. Or need to fetishize awful shit. Or die alone.
Edit: to be clear, this is because men are fucking horrible. Straight girls are tragic figures here. I hope someday we find a cure for heterosexuality, for their sake, and the incels.
I…what?
A cure for hetero. Imagine if you could casually hook up with any of your similarly cute friends. And also intuitively understamd the plot of anything made by hideo kojima.
Dude, heterosexuality isn’t some kind of disease that needs to be cured. I would take intuitive understanding of Kojima’s plots, though.
It wouldn’t be some kind of disease if men didn’t generally suck so badly. Instead we need to invent the bisexuality gas.
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
Having tried simple bidets in both warm, cold, and neutral-ish climates, I find that cold water bidets seem to stiffen the poo bits and make it hard to actually get them off your butt esp since they stick to the hairs. You and I might be talking about different levels of cold, though.
Okay semi unrelated question, but do mens gym showers usually smell like poop?
Because I recently got a fancy gym membership through my employer that allows me to go to basically any gym in the area, and so far the shower in the mixed gender sauna areas has always smelled like poop, while the showers in the woman’s sauna and changing room haven’t.
Might just be a weird coincidence, but it’s been like 5 different gyms of different chains and I’ve been really bothered by itMaybe it’s just terrible plumbing, that pushes shit below where those showers are.
We had an issue at work where flushing in the men’s would cause the shit to pop up in the ladies toilet. There was a fair few arguments among the women over who was leaving floaters.
That’s horrible but kinda hilarious too. Wondering how the hell they tracked that one down.
“Well this one had bits of corn and bean in it but only Bob had that today for lunch and I’m positive I saw him bolting for the men’s room, so mayyybe…”
