Doug

me seeing the scraper dev tug off the card scanner after I’m done

He killed its subtlety maybe, but the hatred has always been there. It’s always been entitlement and greed driven by shortsighted, reactive decisions.

Shut the fuck up you discolored wart. You’re the cancer, not the patient.

All chickens know how to play Uno, Go Fish, and Risk.

I’d be even more turned on, honestly. A sense of humor and owns a farm? ❤️ Uno’s great but I’d need to see more board games.

If it’s “love thy neighbor,” then great.

If it’s “be bigoted pieces of shit,” then I’m sorry, but hail Satan— and I meant “sorry” as earnestly as you meant it, fucko.

As long as it doesn’t make the employees’ day harder/they had a head’s up, then uhhh rock on 🤙

I had to stop so may “pranks” as an usher at the movie theater because they were too disruptive.

One guy came in and was cool about it, “what’s the deadest hour I can do something in your lobby? we won’t hurt anyone and just want to be silly.” and we let him; he just dressed up like a pigeon and pecked at popcorn people would spill, sometimes out of shock when they saw him.

This one looks pretty harmless/the employees were chill with it based on one of the being silly enough to try and kick ‘em.

what a shitpost

Speed self checkout is a great skill.

Do you bag at the end of everything, or do you sneak your first item into a bag to start? Is there a way to not have coupons ruin the speed as it forces the helper to come take the coupons from you?

I was going to crack a joke about being sent to Sam Hell, but I learned it’s actually Sam Hill and I’ve been mishearing it for the word it’s meant to be a euphemism for this whole time.

And then, to make the non-athletic person feel better about themselves, they show us a skill they themselves have perfected in life.

Surely we’ve all got that under our belts, right?

For example I can get groceries faster than everyone else at Winco on a Sunday morning; I know the exact route to take through the store to be as economic with my time as possible.

His brother did worse things than pot, he’d be fine with it.

The guy behind me was getting impatient. I was worried things might get hairy.