Melllvar

I once experienced an episode of sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations. I heard a deep masculine voice speaking in a guttural language that seemed just on the edge of being comprehensible to me. As if it were the primeval language from which all others sprang. The feel of the language in my ear was as familiar as my native tongue. I recognized the cadence, I could discern where one word ended and the next began, whether a sentence was a question, and so forth. But the words themselves were somehow alien.

I strained my senses trying to hear the voice more clearly. What horrible prophesy was I being given? What dreadful task have I been appointed? Am I the keymaster? The antichrist? Am I dying? Oh shit, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m dying and going to hell. Fuckfuckfuck. Um. I accept Jesus as my savior? …Buddha? …Joe Pesci?

Then I snapped out of it and the voice turned out to be the muffled sound of my neighbor’s TV. Praise be to Joe Pesci!

For one, the shark is not at fault. The swimmer is. Which doesn’t really fit the overall message.

The one thing that bothers me about the metric system is how much of it is never actually used. No one says “1 megameter”, for example. They say “1,000 kilometers”. When you think about it, most metric prefixes are never used with most metric units.

Fair game.

It is a theory to explain how genie knows about things like automobiles and 20th century movie stars. It posits that these are only anachronisms if the story is set in the past, as commonly assumed. But setting it in the far distant future eliminates the problem. It also explains the apparent “magic” in the world as remnants of a fallen high-tech civilization.

Rajah the tiger? Genetic engineered. Magic carpet? Hover tech. Buried stop signs (video game only)? Ancient relic. It’s really quite surprising how well this theory fits.

Throw in the fan theory that Disney’s version takes place thousands of years in the future.

You mean like… speaking to someone in the same room? While they’re looking at you? With their eyes?!

Goofy at the bottom

From the phrasing and context, I was expecting something else when I clicked.

Found the original panel, can’t find the whole comic.

NSFW obviously.

https://web.archive.org/web/20150607214351/http://www.imageweb.ws/media/images/3/aladdin-porn/aladdin-porn-311775.jpg

Don’t forget the Snake game.

At first I thought this was an announcement from Microsoft.

You should cut diagonally. If it makes a sandwich better, imagine what it can do for a novel.

That’s what dihydrogen monoxide poisoning does to average IQs.

…are non-US peanut butters less viscous?

I am also that guy, and it was more like 17 years ago.

Reminds me of the old trick on HTML forms where you use CSS to make one of the form fields invisible to humans and reject any submission that filled in that field.

E099: PROGRAMMER IS OVERLY POLITE

I sold gmail invitations on ebay.

Man it sure is crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide.