Bold of you to assume Hilary is capable of feel.

Oh damn. It’s still very early but you win the internet for today.

Probably “look like a 12 year old to your average person but perfectly fuckable to the GOP.”

A message to Tiny’s parents: It’s never too late.

Let’s see if Rage Against the Machine could do a reunion concert in NYC on whatever date that was. That might be one of the only chances we’d have of getting them back together.

Bankruptcy is the one thing he has excelled at in life.

Like a cold butter knife through concrete.

You’ll be one of the first they come after.

Whatever, I’m pretty sure he’s rubbing one out nightly to the thoughts of starving brown children.

Maybe the asteroid impact actually changed the rotational speed of the planet and increased gravity. There, I just created a new theory.

What a shitty way to go that would have been for the dinosaurs and any other giant species. Imagine some ELE hitting humankind but sparing all the little people.

Fuck, now I can’t unconsider it.

Poor Toby. He wasn’t even all that bad, as far as HR goes.

Did you know Mr. Johnson’s nickname in high school was ‘Tiny’?

Maybe air traffic controllers should start making errors in routing for private jets, due to overwork and stress.

He’s the shadow president because Nosferatu cannot abide the light.

It’s a shame real ICE didn’t abduct and deport her in a case of mistaken identity.

This is me over and over again in the grocery store. Apart from the munching first, that is.

We lost the fight in 2024. Try to remember to turn off the lights if you’re the last one out.

2026 midterms will be the test run for the fixed elections in 2028.

Just let it all burn.