Going to IP directly could redirect to your first domain. This would trigger another request to your domain and could result in your logs.

Understandably! Those sound as the signs of depression. If it is caused by meds those should most probably be changed. And I really do not envy your situation. However the only way forward is with a professional. They will now how to advice you. You can DM me if you need someone to talk to. (Just note I usually respond only once a day)

Do not do that. You will not get punished. They are there to help you. They will help you figure your best way forward. They will perscribe you different medicine or they will even help you figure out a strategy so you do not have to take meds.

This is very common. People stop taking meds because they hate side effects. And then the sickness wins. And people like you kill themselves or other. This is very common. And your feelings regarding this topic are common.

But there are many different meds that can help you in different ways with different possible more bareable side effects. Do not do it. Some random stranger (me) here, probably on the other side of yhe world cares for you. Do not endanger yourself or people around you just because you hate some side effects. Just be honest with you therapist and you will figure everything out together. You can even aks for your therapist to be changed. But please discuss this with proffessionals.

Even about not taking meds. You will find a proper way for you. They will not punish you for not taking meds. They will maybe help you find better meds or even help you get rod of them in a healthy way.

Because from your comments: This is not healthy.

You know you should not lie to the doctors? They are the only people who can really help you.

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