Good luck man… I’ve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like I’ve found the center. That doesn’t mean it’s never complicated, but it means we’ve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.
Thanks. If anything, this friendship/relationship has taught me why people with similar trauma and personalities can be great for emotional intimacy (we get it) but also absolutely toxic when our trauma forged defenses and coping mechanisms rise up. She’s given me a lot of insight into “oh, so that’s what it’s like to deal with me when I act like that”. Love her to death but we’re not the match.
Good luck man… I’ve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like I’ve found the center. That doesn’t mean it’s never complicated, but it means we’ve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.
Thanks. If anything, this friendship/relationship has taught me why people with similar trauma and personalities can be great for emotional intimacy (we get it) but also absolutely toxic when our trauma forged defenses and coping mechanisms rise up. She’s given me a lot of insight into “oh, so that’s what it’s like to deal with me when I act like that”. Love her to death but we’re not the match.
😭