• Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    A wife massage with no funny business may often turn into a yes funny business massage, but only if the no funny business part goes well. And even then not always. But it’s always a good idea to take the no funny business part seriously. The worst possible outcome is that she just has a better day instead.

    • Illogicalbit@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Agreed. As an equally confused human as this OP, I think it’s about choice, luck, trust and possibly solar flares.

      I too blunder through this world pretending I have an understanding of my wife of 20+ years and just opt to get excited when the light turns green.

      • Yosmonkol@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        I knew a woman that would declare, early on in a relationship, that she didn’t want any funny business ever but would very much want funny business a month later. I always assumed it was to filter out people that were only after funny business, or to gauge how their partner respects consent. Granted its not the same dynamic as in the OOP.

        • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca
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          2 days ago

          There are significant benefits to indirect communication that far outweigh the benefits of direct communication. This concept is best captured by Douglas Adams in the famous

          “Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”

          • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Listen Im neurodivergent I’m not mentally defective, you don’t need to explain the benefits of indirect communication to me. Rather I think some neurotypicals need the benefits of direct communication explained to them.

            There’s a time and a place for everything. I’m not saying we should all talk like robots all the time. I’m saying NTs lean too heavily on one style and get pissy when people can’t read their mind.

            • Viceversa@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              I’m saying NTs lean too heavily on one style and get pissy when people can’t read their mind.

              We as a species evolved to rely heavily on indirect communication. It’s natural to us to the point of subconsciousness. And it works in most of the cases.
              So I wouldn’t say NT lean too heavily on that.

              With that said, I agree, that accommodation should be needed for disabled people even though they’re a minority - as we do for handicapped, for example.

              • endless_nameless@lemmy.world
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                22 hours ago

                Considering that miscommunication and misunderstanding are a common occurrence for practically everyone I would have to disagree. I’ve seen it end plenty of friendships over the years. In pretty much every case, if either party was willing to just speak clearly and directly it could have been resolved easily.

                I can only speak for the US, but it really seems like we don’t have that shared, intuitive language anymore. People are so different due to myriad of reasons to a point that it disrupts that intuitive communication. I know this is true because if I travel to a country with a more cohesive intuitive language, like India for example, it’s actually a lot easier for me to understand that indirect communication because it’s more consistent between people.