What I don’t get is, why is everyone struggling to make friends as an adult? There’s a loneliness epidemic. People are more isolated than ever and they’re feeling it and say they want to make friends. People online constantly say it is difficult to make friends. Yet when I meet people IRL, no one wants to make friends at all and the struggle is real. IRL no one responds to messages, no one comes to meet ups, no one accepts invitations. It seems the masses out there are not trying to make friends and are actively turning down opportunities…to then go home and be miserable and complain and be lonely. Is there an app or something? Tinder for friends? OnlyFriends.com could be the next thing in this tech dystopia…pay a monthly subscription to have another guy send buddy texts and memes. Relationships and parasocial relationships are comodified. Might as well do the same with friendship since people aren’t giving this shit away for free anymore.
Relationships are riddled with scammers now because people are so desperate to survive.
When you’re already emotionally vulnerable, and you find out what you thought was a friend or romantic partner was just pretending long enough to ask for money, it’s devastating.
My neighbor said her last three dates asked for money on the first date.
This is something I talk to my therapist about a lot. I have friends, but only on Discord and they live several states away. So I’ve been doing several different volunteer jobs to try and meet people, but all that’s gotten me is people way older than me or way younger neither of which I really feel comfortable becoming friends with. Only time so far I’ve met people around my age (I’m 30) is when I started going to PSL events like group readings or discussion groups. It’s nice, but I also struggle to see myself hanging out with these people outside of these events to like play games or go somewhere.
When your needs are met, making friends is less difficult. When your life is focused on getting your needs get, making friends is often put on the back burner.
That’s trivial question: to become friends you must first talk to someone. More than once. To talk with someone more than once you must have some mutual interests or background limiting circumstances. It is easy to find friends in school, work, army, etc. In places with plenty of people who all are in the same situation and thus have some common (important!) themes and opinions to discuss with you. When you’re out of such places, you don’t have a chance of repeating talk with somebody. That’s it.
This is why I tell everyone they should join a choir or a dance class or whatever you fancy. The entry threshold is lower than for bands and orchestras, since you don’t need and instrument. There’s usually beginner classes for adults, so all you need to bring is yourself and a good mood.
I think a lot of people never knew how to make friends, not just as adults.
For some their entire social group is made of those that life forced them to meet - i.e classmates from their school days, childhood neighbors, and friends of those friends.
Tech companies made sure to divert social needs to parasocial relationships through a screen. People can watch a stream or stalk fake girls on social media and trick their brains into believing they have covered their social needs without having to put any energy on it.
Now some people are starting to chat with AI as they were real people and it’s only to get worse.
What I don’t get is, why is everyone struggling to make friends as an adult? There’s a loneliness epidemic. People are more isolated than ever and they’re feeling it and say they want to make friends. People online constantly say it is difficult to make friends. Yet when I meet people IRL, no one wants to make friends at all and the struggle is real. IRL no one responds to messages, no one comes to meet ups, no one accepts invitations. It seems the masses out there are not trying to make friends and are actively turning down opportunities…to then go home and be miserable and complain and be lonely. Is there an app or something? Tinder for friends? OnlyFriends.com could be the next thing in this tech dystopia…pay a monthly subscription to have another guy send buddy texts and memes. Relationships and parasocial relationships are comodified. Might as well do the same with friendship since people aren’t giving this shit away for free anymore.
Relationships are riddled with scammers now because people are so desperate to survive.
When you’re already emotionally vulnerable, and you find out what you thought was a friend or romantic partner was just pretending long enough to ask for money, it’s devastating.
My neighbor said her last three dates asked for money on the first date.
This is something I talk to my therapist about a lot. I have friends, but only on Discord and they live several states away. So I’ve been doing several different volunteer jobs to try and meet people, but all that’s gotten me is people way older than me or way younger neither of which I really feel comfortable becoming friends with. Only time so far I’ve met people around my age (I’m 30) is when I started going to PSL events like group readings or discussion groups. It’s nice, but I also struggle to see myself hanging out with these people outside of these events to like play games or go somewhere.
Bumble has a friends option but I think you have to have like 7 pictures IIRC,
You sound like the reason. Assholes
When your needs are met, making friends is less difficult. When your life is focused on getting your needs get, making friends is often put on the back burner.
Also hanging out usually costs money. I keep inviting people I’m work friends with to stuff, and they always have to check their budgets.
Making new friends is a commitment. People don’t have the energy for another commitment.
That’s trivial question: to become friends you must first talk to someone. More than once. To talk with someone more than once you must have some mutual interests or background limiting circumstances. It is easy to find friends in school, work, army, etc. In places with plenty of people who all are in the same situation and thus have some common (important!) themes and opinions to discuss with you. When you’re out of such places, you don’t have a chance of repeating talk with somebody. That’s it.
This is why I tell everyone they should join a choir or a dance class or whatever you fancy. The entry threshold is lower than for bands and orchestras, since you don’t need and instrument. There’s usually beginner classes for adults, so all you need to bring is yourself and a good mood.
I think a lot of people never knew how to make friends, not just as adults.
For some their entire social group is made of those that life forced them to meet - i.e classmates from their school days, childhood neighbors, and friends of those friends.
Tech companies made sure to divert social needs to parasocial relationships through a screen. People can watch a stream or stalk fake girls on social media and trick their brains into believing they have covered their social needs without having to put any energy on it. Now some people are starting to chat with AI as they were real people and it’s only to get worse.