Without any examples and as a third party to this discussion I would guess it’s probably because one is said with a positive albeit sarcastic yet chipper delivery. Self deprecation sounds more negative or pouty to me which can be a huge turn off. Even if someone is really good at something when they are always negative about themselves it gets old really fast.
Better to say nothing then, or even to be an incincere positive is infact better. Least you tried in that case. One thing I was taught, that helps, is to stop all negative self talk, both outloud and in my head, as soon as I realize I am doing it.
example: “Im so fucking stupid” Wait, I am not stupid “actually, I made a mistake and I feel embarrassed”. Reframe. The second statement is more honest anyway.
I was reluctant to try this at first because it seems foolish, but after making an effort, it, um, helps, a lot more than I thought.
Could you try that? Nix the neg. self talk?
You did it just now here, “…women really found pathetic men attractive I would be a total catch”. Stop that shit, there is literally no point in calling yourself pathetic except to self harm ur psyche. So, could you please, work on calling yourself out for it? Quit negative self talk, and maybe you can be funny again like the rest of us depressed folk.
as for the meme, mad people play pick up basket ball. We dont know if the person in the post was on an offical team or not.
Very true, in a lot of ways I imagine it takes a lot of confidence to be “pathetic” in a way that was being referred to initially and confidence goes a long way, especially if it isn’t arrogant or hurtful towards others.
I feel you, dude. I’ve got autism and trying to gauge people for what kind of vibe is going to land is insanely difficult. internet dating helped me so much back before it went to shit. I feel pretty lost now
Yeah, I’m at the point where I just assume the vibe will never land, so I don’t even try to interact with people anymore. Hence I get all my social interaction on lemmy.
Am I pathetic enough yet? Or have I blown so far past the threshold that it’s just sad to watch?
I think your story isn’t over yet. maybe because I’m hoping mine isn’t either, but also our lives are seldom just a single straight line to ultimate failure.
until you reach that point, have a hug 🫂 we contain multitudes of possibility and I hope you get to encounter something new about yourself soon
how you move into your future is your choice, but I will remember not to waste your limited time with any embarrassing earnesty if we cross paths again 👍
gotta know your audience, you know there isn’t one thing that everyone finds attractive
You’re right, I’ll just learn how to be a mind reader before I make any attempts at humor
theres a big difference in being self depricating and making light about sucking at something.
Which one is the socially acceptable one?
making light…
you see that (missed) shot? haha nba here I come!
its funny cuz you missed.
And how is that different from self-deprecation?
Without any examples and as a third party to this discussion I would guess it’s probably because one is said with a positive albeit sarcastic yet chipper delivery. Self deprecation sounds more negative or pouty to me which can be a huge turn off. Even if someone is really good at something when they are always negative about themselves it gets old really fast.
Well I have chronic depression so if I try to sound chipper it will sound insincere.
If women really found pathetic men attractive I would be a total catch.
The fact is, that the guy who missed the shot was on the team, so he can’t be that pathetic…
I have cronic depression too.
Better to say nothing then, or even to be an incincere positive is infact better. Least you tried in that case. One thing I was taught, that helps, is to stop all negative self talk, both outloud and in my head, as soon as I realize I am doing it. example: “Im so fucking stupid” Wait, I am not stupid “actually, I made a mistake and I feel embarrassed”. Reframe. The second statement is more honest anyway.
I was reluctant to try this at first because it seems foolish, but after making an effort, it, um, helps, a lot more than I thought.
Could you try that? Nix the neg. self talk?
You did it just now here, “…women really found pathetic men attractive I would be a total catch”. Stop that shit, there is literally no point in calling yourself pathetic except to self harm ur psyche. So, could you please, work on calling yourself out for it? Quit negative self talk, and maybe you can be funny again like the rest of us depressed folk.
as for the meme, mad people play pick up basket ball. We dont know if the person in the post was on an offical team or not.
Very true, in a lot of ways I imagine it takes a lot of confidence to be “pathetic” in a way that was being referred to initially and confidence goes a long way, especially if it isn’t arrogant or hurtful towards others.
I feel you, dude. I’ve got autism and trying to gauge people for what kind of vibe is going to land is insanely difficult. internet dating helped me so much back before it went to shit. I feel pretty lost now
Yeah, I’m at the point where I just assume the vibe will never land, so I don’t even try to interact with people anymore. Hence I get all my social interaction on lemmy.
Am I pathetic enough yet? Or have I blown so far past the threshold that it’s just sad to watch?
I think your story isn’t over yet. maybe because I’m hoping mine isn’t either, but also our lives are seldom just a single straight line to ultimate failure.
until you reach that point, have a hug 🫂 we contain multitudes of possibility and I hope you get to encounter something new about yourself soon
Thanks, I’ll bottle up that positivity for when someone else needs it. I know I can’t use it
how you move into your future is your choice, but I will remember not to waste your limited time with any embarrassing earnesty if we cross paths again 👍
Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound passive-aggressive. Don’t worry about my time, just don’t waste yours cause I’m obviously not worth it