Pace yourself, 5 beers an hour lol
Sounds more like he’s in sales than finance.
Highlighted
implying he regularly exceeds five beers per hour
it’s been a while since I had a drink, just over 5 years
but a twelve pack and some shots lasted about most of the evening for me
Guess I wasn’t much of a drinker?
depends on the beer…
Disclaimer: i recognize this post is a joke
You will never find the Honda you’re shopping for if your filters are set to Toyota
But it’s still fun to drive around town.
Har har ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
I bought my toyota before he went crazy.
What if I’m trying to find a low-mileage, mid ‘90s drop-top NSX in candy red - what filters should I set?
Asking for a friend.
“Suicide Blonde”
The quotes are important.
“Astrology is such bullshit. Flowers hate sex, so they get bees to do their dirty work. I’ve never heard of the Colleen hoover, is it a good brand? Primus sucks. I feel I could be a main character on Grey’s Anatomy. I like you woman, you don’t talk much, unlike that Taylor Swiftmouth.”
Why am I single?
Primus sucks!
I’ve really been wanting to get into astrology. Do you want to go to the local telescope depository?
All you need is a star chart and a sense of wild abandon.
What’s your sign? Born in March? Yes, looks like you’re an… Ursa major! What good fortune!
Yes yes sign of the empty bowl: you will forever be searching for the perfect cup of pho. beauty lies in front of you, perfection is in love and in your family. you must harvest [5 human hearts] for your broth for perfect pho.
i’m really not sure about this translation
You can major in Ursas? Cool!
I was chatting with a bartender about my telescope a while ago, and the woman sitting next to me asked me when my birthday was. I told her the month, and asked why. She said “it sounds like you know a lot about astrology.” I said “oh no, I’m into astronomy,” to which she replied “same thing.”
5 beers and hour max? Now that’s a responsible man.
If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael’s regular intake?
4 beers.
This is one of them SAT type questions that I’ll never learn to solve. Hats off to you.
Honestly, more men should wear thick soled shoes on causal dates. Women have so much help to boost their natural attractiveness; we gotta even the playing field.
get your shirts tailored. if you can’t afford to tailor your date night shirts, buy cheaper shirts and get them tailored. secondhand and tailored looks better than new and not fitting you perfectly.
I wear sleeveless shirts. Got to show some of that side moob.
Balance is being restored. All aboard the hammertrain choo choo
I just keep sewing longer and bulkier stuff to my dick. But it keeps working, and I have antibiotics 🤷
Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you’re going to have. over and over again.
Then when things don’t go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If they laugh, they’re a keeper. And if they don’t leave it means they have flag color blindness.
Perfect system.
Soo my hobbies? Yeah, Uranus, I mean stuff in asstrophyligy, like I’m really into cancer … Yeah and boats.
5 beers per hour?
Man I’m old but even when a wasn’t old 5 beers per hour would have me pretty trashed.
That may be asking the jokes involved.
Would be fun if you stopped at the first hour.
Five beers an hour WHILE there’s a tequila shot right next to him
That’s just to get up the nerve to drive over there.
… Wait…
He has a boat? Is it because of the implication?
Just him and his… tasty treats.
ok, in which freedom units do I have to think, such that 5 beers/h falls under “pace yourself”?
12 ounces (350ml) or 16 ounces (470ml) would be typical for an American beer.
If the guy can reach 6 feet with “thick soles”, he’s not small, so probably the 16 ounce beer as a draft, rather than the 12 ounce beer which is typical for a bottle.
Armand play calls are cool but the radio in the QB helmet is the way to go
Needs a cheat sheet for his own name. I like this guy.
Used to get so black out wed write our address on our arm and just point to it when the taxi or cops came.
I could likely forget my name for a moment, if someone suddenly asked it face to face. I have already forgotten an important part of my address, in a situation like that before. If I am asked directly about something, there is a very high chance, I will immediately forget everything about it, as I panic invisibly. (And yes, it is autism with me.)
I don’t know what that’s from, but the premise of “person thinks name tag is for their benefit” alone would be funny enough even if it was actually a name tag.
That’s from Doctor Who. In case you’re not familiar, the Doctor - here portrayed by Matt Smith - is an alien super genius who’s also a bit daft. There’s loads more to the character, but if you really aren’t familiar, I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the fun of discovering it.
One thing to note: the Doctor has been played by many actors over many, many years. Personally, Matt Smith is my favorite, but all of the ones I’ve watched have had something to enjoy about them. All of them portray the character differently, so the tone of the show does change somewhat depending on where you start.
I haven’t seen many of the older actors, nor either of the more recent two, so I can’t recommend for or against them.
person thinks name tag [editor: or driver’s license/ID] is for their benefit
that is my joke that i use for me, going on seventeen years. i am so scatterbrained. i need to think up a second joke
Probably not his name, but still solid
The name was my favorite part. Like he’s the worst spy imaginable.
$75k salary, a house, a boat, a lake house, and a trust fund. What year is this?
This is Mississippi, Meridian; $30k is middle class.
“a house” Shares a duplex with a drug dealer. “a boat” Dealer took a guys boat who racked up debt, but it’s sitting mostly in your backyard. “lake house” Their street floods regularly. “trust fund” He trusts the money he keeps hidden in the back of the bathroom sink is still there.
Debt is a hell of a drug
Doesn’t matter what year it is if your parents are stacked.
Really hate when I forget my own name in the middle of a date.
I though the joke is that he made up a personality to pick her up
That’s why you need to pace yourself to 5 beers/hr
No
i’ve got little legs. i should really be at 8 beers/hr if i want to keep pace with the bigger guys.
He’s drinking 5 beers/hour, it’s a good precaution.
Getting your legends mixed up is bad tradecraft
