whenever i see his name i’m just like

she lies and says she’s in love with him

can’t find a fetterman

so true. if you walk up to me in the middle of the night and ask me if i will have sex with you, i’ll probably say yes

eric the red still trolling n00bs from beyond the grave i see

wait till you get one of those neuralink chips and you’re forced to like all of elon’s tweets

from now on he’s gona be concerned, making texts like “hi son, have you had your daily cock yet?”

TIL it’s 2018

and then if you’re like me and you’re too lazy to type out zsearch every time you just do

alias z="zsearch"

my google search history is cursed but my zsh history is blessed because i can just do

zsearch() { cat ~/.zsh_history | grep "$1" }

hang on let me check my frog folder

i have 684 frogs in my frog folder

i dunno man if you turn off the news and only look at headlines occasionally, the world doesn’t seem like it’s falling apart. i mean it definitely is, but from where you’re standing everything seems fine. works for me

i always wondered why jesus never used his god powers to get off the cross, but then i realized he’s like a vampire, but instead of a stake through the heart it’s nails through the hands

neil “the grass” tyson

fake: anon wants to be fit

gay: anon likes bears

when i was growing up i only knew lynyrd skynyrd as a good thing to play in hangman. but you can only do it once, after that they’re gonna be like “is this that band that doesn’t have vowels again?”

know what’s extra hard? those common words that are like a verb + a preposition like “find out”. i convince myself that the preposition i’m thinking of is wrong

why use fancy word when good word do trick?

didn’t all this somalia bullshit start with one deceptively edited youtube video? like the shit james o’keefe did at project veritas

So tired of these “Christians” who think “Christianity” is about “Christ”. Where the fuck would they get that idea

Everyone in the Trump admin needs a butt plug, given how full of shit they are

yeah we’re both trying to stay sober