• titanicx@lemmy.zip
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          7 days ago

          They’re really not. It’s just now being released in a theater. Not only that but it was paid for by Jeff bezos and Amazon. So why in the world would you think that they’re streaming it on Netflix? When in all reality it’s going to be streamed on prime video and not watched by a single person except for bots trying to raise the view count.

          • nomy@lemmy.zip
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            7 days ago

            That commenter just says things assuming people won’t check. Note the name and you’ll start seeing inane takes regularly.

  • flop_leash_973@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I dunno how you get a whole movie out of her story. What is there to tell?

    • Eastern European model

    • Sleeps her way into the family of a rich asshole

    • Has baby to secure long term seat at the dinner table

    • The end

    That’s a story everyone has seen play out 1000 times already.

  • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    What the fuck is possibly the content of this movie?

    How to pretend to have a headache so you don’t have to sit on the mushroom again?

    Melania’s early career as a queer-baiting wannabe porn star?

    The story of the first mail order bride to become first lady?

    The story of the last occupant of the East Wing?

    Where to find Dick Tracey’s haberdasher?

    • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Melania’s early career as a queer-baiting wannabe porn star?

      Wouldn’t those films sell better? Assuming she actually did any.

      • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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        Oh she did, I’m referring to various things in this post but yeah she did some queer-baiting photo shoots as a model.

        No shame in being gay or even being “gay for pay” or a sex worker or any of these but she and her husband are vile, trashy hypocrites and are trying to dismantle rights for LGBTQ+ people. So, I think it’s worthy of ridicule.

    • kreskin@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      It’ll be 90 minutes of her servicing guests at Epstein Island, then 30 minutes of legal threats that she is not now, and never has been a prostitute.

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Why would someone be humiliated that their money laundering scheme is laundering money?

    You people don’t honestly believe she gives a shit, right? And you certainly must recognize this movie as just being a grift, and that it wasn’t made with the intention or expectation of being successful, right?

    Please tell me you all aren’t that fucking blind.

    • limelight79@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Yep, it’s just like all of the “bestselling” books the right “writes”. Real people don’t actually buy them; the PACs buy them to funnel money into the pockets of the subject of the book.

    • halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works
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      7 days ago

      I also believe that above all else, this was a money laundering scheme.

      That being said, I feel like there was a part of her that was hoping this documentary about her life would be revered as incredibly interesting and a work of art. Like, single digit ticket sales is incredibly bad… I don’t care who you are - that’s gotta sting. And that’s hilarious.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Why would someone be humiliated that their money laundering scheme is laundering money?

      And why is there wall to wall clickbait headlines about the Melania movie to begin with?

      Please tell me you all aren’t that fucking blind.

    • Tilgare@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I read she made $30M from the film - that’s pretty shockingly obscene compared to all the big tech innaguration bribes - of “only” $1M.

    • IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip
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      6 days ago

      I’d agree if I didn’t think that every single part of the movie would vaporize every bit of libido in a 2km radius.

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        5 days ago

        I won’t ask. I was of the generation that still had drive-in movies, and if I did some extra work on the house, my dad would lend me his late-50s Cadillac, with a back seat the size of a double bed. Cinemas were a distant second-best. The only challenges were keeping the seat clean and dissipating the smell of pot smoke.

  • Reygle@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Who would have thought?!?!

    Why wouldn’t anyone want to know the story of a vapid, valueless, and brainless model who married a mentally deranged piece of shit who wants people like her (Not “born RIGHT-WISE”) violently removed from “his” country? MADNESS

  • Notso@feddit.org
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    6 days ago

    Just another grift… She got 28 million dollars from Amazon for this. I’m willing to bet she doesn’t give a fuck about ticket sales.

    • Sarmyth@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Probably not from the theater (would be hilarious though) but since I would imagine they were online reviewers they may have been paid to watch it, which is close!

      • Hazmatastic@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        His name is STEWART and he is NOT a bot. Real guy, terrific guy, he does a lot of great stuff. Does a LOT more than some of the other people there, you know the other kind. DONT buy into the Left’s brainwashing! THANK YOU for your Attention to this MATTER!

        –JOHN

    • Kite@sh.itjust.works
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      6 days ago

      Jeez, I sure hope they are bots. She has been a complete non participant when it comes to doing the tasks a First Lady does. Outside of her “I don’t care…” bullshit, she’s just done nothing. Well, except consistently try to weasel out of all attempts by her husband to touch her, anyway.

  • LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    The world would rather watch paint dry than watch a documentary about a pedophile protector like melania. Glad it failed miserably.

  • qarbone@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I don’t think someone can humiliate you, you can only let yourself feel humiliation.

    And I don’t think I’ve ever seen Melania feel anything except disgust with her husband and general malaise.