I don’t deny that male friends can be toxic. What can be worse still is that the man does share these videos with his friends, and the videos themselves are toxic and reinforce toxic behaviors and thoughts, and the friends share affirmations with the man about the video. That happens a lot too.
That man is probably repeatedly sharing videos with the woman because he’s hoping that she returns the same affirmations that his friends do.
I think it’s a little more complicated. I can empathize with the reluctance to share, I was raised that way too. He’s right that we can sometimes share even innocuous things we like because that’s easier and feels safer than trying to compose our own thoughts into words. I’m guessing you’ve probably done it with music before, songs are really good at communicating things like that sometimes, it can even just be more efficient.
I grew out of it eventually though. I wanted the choice, the power to either share a piece of media to represent me or just open myself up and present my own case based in my own feelings and with my own logic. Since I can now comfortably do both, I recognize that my old reluctance to open up was an unnecessary burden I was putting on myself, rooted in fears that were ultimately unnecessary and unproductive, that I acquired in my childhood. Much like many other things I acquired in my childhood, it just wasn’t what I wanted anymore. That fear was a crutch, training wheels, and just a hindrance now. Ultimately it had become a weakness, as fear can sometimes be if you listen to it too much.
I don’t deny that male friends can be toxic. What can be worse still is that the man does share these videos with his friends, and the videos themselves are toxic and reinforce toxic behaviors and thoughts, and the friends share affirmations with the man about the video. That happens a lot too.
That man is probably repeatedly sharing videos with the woman because he’s hoping that she returns the same affirmations that his friends do.
I think it’s a little more complicated. I can empathize with the reluctance to share, I was raised that way too. He’s right that we can sometimes share even innocuous things we like because that’s easier and feels safer than trying to compose our own thoughts into words. I’m guessing you’ve probably done it with music before, songs are really good at communicating things like that sometimes, it can even just be more efficient.
I grew out of it eventually though. I wanted the choice, the power to either share a piece of media to represent me or just open myself up and present my own case based in my own feelings and with my own logic. Since I can now comfortably do both, I recognize that my old reluctance to open up was an unnecessary burden I was putting on myself, rooted in fears that were ultimately unnecessary and unproductive, that I acquired in my childhood. Much like many other things I acquired in my childhood, it just wasn’t what I wanted anymore. That fear was a crutch, training wheels, and just a hindrance now. Ultimately it had become a weakness, as fear can sometimes be if you listen to it too much.