lots of folks just refuse to move on and grow on. they still cling to bad memories because their negative experiences define them.
i’m in my 40s and it blows my mind how many people are hung up on shit from 20-30 years ago. like… i figured this out 20 years ago, you should have done so too. and as an adult, if people are still being dicks, you just ignore them.
Except that therapy actually is expensive, and a whole lot of therapists actually suck at what they’re ostensibly there to do.
Then, try finding a good therapist who actually is neurodivergent, its nearly impossible.
A neurotypical fundamentally isn’t capable of actually fully empathizing with a neurodivergent… their brains are literally wired differently.
You being this dismissive of genuine, deep seated pain… that literally is the problem, people who act like you.
Why would anyone listen to the advice of someone who doesn’t actually give a fuck about their mental health, about their CPTSD, caused by people like you?
The… whole problem is that at the most basic level, people repress and internally stew on their feelings, when broader society does not allow them to express them without mocking them.
Your entire post here is ‘I am better than you and you are pathetic, I sympathize with you though’.
Do you have no self-awareness?
… therapy is a good thing, if you can find it, if you access it, if its done by a person who actually knows what they’re doing and can actually relate to you without the sociopathic ‘emotions off/HR mode enabled’ mask that many therapists use.
We could just have a space where people could just say whats really on their minds, you know, publically.
Or we can have people like you show up when they do that, tell them they suck, and tell them they need to pay money an expert.
Grudges often (not always) are just a second bully victory, because they make your life, not theirs, worse. You don’t need to forgive them, even if it can help (help you, not them), but therapy can help you move on with your life more lightly.
Why should it make your life worse? It could, but that shouldn’t be the assumption. The older I get the more I value any memories I can feel the same about now as I did back then, because most of it fades into nothing, only the most intense emotions have staying power. What you hate defines you just like what you love defines you, grudges are important for holding on to your humanity.
Of course it’s good to come to terms with things, and therapy helps, but I strongly object to the idea that the mature thing to do is entirely let go of old resentments and never share them, the opposite is true.
Same. I got my face pushed in by a bully who was on the boxing team. The principal later put me on the spot, asked me to forgive him to his face and I said no.
I could have easily needed therapy for that, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have come through it liking myself more, even being proud of how I handled it. I can take a punch and walk away calmly and deliberately (then cry through a giant red snot bubble in the nurse’s office later).
Besides… Last I heard he was in jail for armed robbery. Ha! And double ha! Ever thus to bullies.
Anon got bullied, it’s true. And that sucks. I sympathize.
They still need to grow the fuck up. They sound like a millennial based on when anime went mainstream in which case, my god, get a therapist already.
Imagine still being salty over people being mean to you 20-30 years ago. Fuck
Signed,
A millennial who was bullied plenty
Inb4 “therapy is expensive”
All bullying isn’t equal. You have no idea what kind of shit OP was put through, and have no idea if it’s at all comparable to what you went through.
spot on.
lots of folks just refuse to move on and grow on. they still cling to bad memories because their negative experiences define them.
i’m in my 40s and it blows my mind how many people are hung up on shit from 20-30 years ago. like… i figured this out 20 years ago, you should have done so too. and as an adult, if people are still being dicks, you just ignore them.
Except that therapy actually is expensive, and a whole lot of therapists actually suck at what they’re ostensibly there to do.
Then, try finding a good therapist who actually is neurodivergent, its nearly impossible.
A neurotypical fundamentally isn’t capable of actually fully empathizing with a neurodivergent… their brains are literally wired differently.
You being this dismissive of genuine, deep seated pain… that literally is the problem, people who act like you.
Why would anyone listen to the advice of someone who doesn’t actually give a fuck about their mental health, about their CPTSD, caused by people like you?
The… whole problem is that at the most basic level, people repress and internally stew on their feelings, when broader society does not allow them to express them without mocking them.
Your entire post here is ‘I am better than you and you are pathetic, I sympathize with you though’.
Do you have no self-awareness?
… therapy is a good thing, if you can find it, if you access it, if its done by a person who actually knows what they’re doing and can actually relate to you without the sociopathic ‘emotions off/HR mode enabled’ mask that many therapists use.
We could just have a space where people could just say whats really on their minds, you know, publically.
Or we can have people like you show up when they do that, tell them they suck, and tell them they need to pay money an expert.
Let’s not forget the pictured message they were replying to specifically mentions growling at people and sprinting around.
That shit never went mainstream. Fucking hell
Bish please. It was mainstream as fuck before social media.
Naruto runs were being a fucking airplane, complete with sound and spittle. A dumbass kid’s game probably as old as the Wright brothers…
Every fucking generation in the last century has been playing it without anyone giving a damn, ffs.
When a six year old does it, it’s cute. When a sixteen year old does it, it’s sad. Context matters.
All hail diversity and creativity, except when it’s not conformant to expectations.
If a kid in high school was zooming around acting like an airplane, they probably would have also been bullied.
And that’s very, very sad.
My initial reaction was to agree with you because, yeah that’s pretty weird, but honestly fuck that.
Kids playing and being a bit embarrassing? That’s perfectly normal. They don’t deserve to be bullied and the problem lies entirely with the bully.
Therapy is no substitute for well earned grudges
Grudges often (not always) are just a second bully victory, because they make your life, not theirs, worse. You don’t need to forgive them, even if it can help (help you, not them), but therapy can help you move on with your life more lightly.
This is literally Chun Li’s plot in the Street Fighter movie.
For the bully, it was tuesday.
Why should it make your life worse? It could, but that shouldn’t be the assumption. The older I get the more I value any memories I can feel the same about now as I did back then, because most of it fades into nothing, only the most intense emotions have staying power. What you hate defines you just like what you love defines you, grudges are important for holding on to your humanity.
Of course it’s good to come to terms with things, and therapy helps, but I strongly object to the idea that the mature thing to do is entirely let go of old resentments and never share them, the opposite is true.
You getting paid to shill therapy or what?
“This comment brought to you by better help!”
I wish!
Same. I got my face pushed in by a bully who was on the boxing team. The principal later put me on the spot, asked me to forgive him to his face and I said no.
I could have easily needed therapy for that, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have come through it liking myself more, even being proud of how I handled it. I can take a punch and walk away calmly and deliberately (then cry through a giant red snot bubble in the nurse’s office later).
Besides… Last I heard he was in jail for armed robbery. Ha! And double ha! Ever thus to bullies.