There’s also the fact that a lot of media depicts Queer characters in very caricatured ways (especially in comedy, which is to be expected I suppose). Lesbians are a growing exception I think (I think of Anna Sawai’s character in Monarch: Legacy of Monsters in particular). But it feels like lots of Queer male-coded characters are ridiculously flamboyant and sex-obsessed. Mitch from Modern Family feels like a notable exception, but his “gayness” began to ramp up a lot more in later seasons of that show. Most gay men I know are actually pretty boring most of the time, not solely wearing bright colors, going to brunch, and constantly making innuendos.

So what happens is that young Queer people don’t recognize their Queer-ness because they don’t see themselves in those caricatures, yeah? And they never really investigate those aspects of themselves because they might not want to be one of those caricatures. They just want to be “Sam, who also happens to be into [preferred consenting human type here].”