Every day I put a couple treats on the shelf above the water heater. When my cat makes the first jump to the countertop I wrap an arm across her shoulders and pick up each of her front paws for a little squeeze. Every few days I snip just the tip off just one claw. Then she makes the second jump. Her claws aren’t even, and they’re never very short, but they’re short enough and blunted enough for me. And we’re still friends.

We all know how it will end, so stop the drama and embrace your fate. Some catnip maybe too.