I don’t know what the answer is, but I do 100% know it’s not a dating app. Saw another post about people playing more board games, maybe try something like that. Go where people actually talk to each other. Participate without an agenda. See what happens naturally. Social media and heads-buried-in-phones have made everyone socially incompetent.
It’s a hard thing. When I was single I would try this and then it wouldn’t really go anywhere. Which would be fine if what was missing from my life was having a board game group, but what I wanted was companionship.
I think the way it should work is to basically create situations where romance could happen, but not necessarily seem like you’re actively pursuing romance. For more reserved people that can be hard to do, I think I tended to come across less as “fun person, potential partner” and more “kind of quiet guy from my board game group”.
I ultimately met my wife through a dating app so I’m glad I stuck it out, but dating is hard whichever way you do it.
Being a complete person and not expecting another person to be the “missing piece” is important. I’m not saying you did it wrong. It’s normal and healthy to want companionship.
A lot of folks have stupid Hollywood notions of what “true love” is.
IOW, have your own shit together, don’t be a burden who thinks someone else can fix them or meet their every need.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I do 100% know it’s not a dating app. Saw another post about people playing more board games, maybe try something like that. Go where people actually talk to each other. Participate without an agenda. See what happens naturally. Social media and heads-buried-in-phones have made everyone socially incompetent.
It’s a hard thing. When I was single I would try this and then it wouldn’t really go anywhere. Which would be fine if what was missing from my life was having a board game group, but what I wanted was companionship.
I think the way it should work is to basically create situations where romance could happen, but not necessarily seem like you’re actively pursuing romance. For more reserved people that can be hard to do, I think I tended to come across less as “fun person, potential partner” and more “kind of quiet guy from my board game group”.
I ultimately met my wife through a dating app so I’m glad I stuck it out, but dating is hard whichever way you do it.
Being a complete person and not expecting another person to be the “missing piece” is important. I’m not saying you did it wrong. It’s normal and healthy to want companionship.
A lot of folks have stupid Hollywood notions of what “true love” is.
IOW, have your own shit together, don’t be a burden who thinks someone else can fix them or meet their every need.
Counterpoint: I’m in that situation, and now I am no closer to finding that person.
I’d be happy to help make someone feel whole. But since I am whole myself, I’m not expending effort on locating anyone single.
So, there’s truth in what you’re saying. A partner fills a void. Being self-sufficient fills it too. But spackle doesn’t feel as good as concrete.
I’ve only ever gotten one date on a dating app ):