It’s okay to be different and that often comes with struggles. But it sounds like you’re trying to attack the problem with yourself and not just giving up and being angry about the world. That’s a good mindset to have.
Sex is fun, but it doesn’t cure loneliness. If you’re looking for a longer term solution then start looking to build lasting relationships, be open about having autism and you’ll find that the people you end up meeting will be going into things with you with a bit more understanding and empathy than if you just try, and fail, masking.
And, as always, a therapist is very useful when you’re trying to make a big change in your life. Having someone who is both educated in psychology and an unbiased observer can really help you see and understand things that you’d otherwise miss.
Only problem is every time I’ve been open about my autism with a person I was attracted to up front their interest starts to slowly fade. Its not immediate, but I suspect they start framing everything I say or do as part of my autism and I think they lose interest because of that. Though its impossible to know, and it might be coincidence or I’m seeing patterns where there are none. So I tend to keep it to myself with in person interactions more these days.
I think of it like this: Those people were never going to be compatible with you anyway and you spend a lot of time and effort masking and trying to hide who you are. It works for short interactions but not with anybody that you’re going to see often.
You’re better off acting in a way that makes you the most comfortable and true to yourself. The people who can’t handle that will filter themselves out. Rejection isn’t pleasant, but it’s brief. On the other hand masking constantly is exhausting even if it fools people for a bit.
You’ll be much more content in the long term if you just understand that it’s okay to just be who you are and let others decide if they like that or not. I guarantee that there are women (and men) who are compatible with you, but you won’t meet them by wasting your time with people who are not.
It’s okay to be different and that often comes with struggles. But it sounds like you’re trying to attack the problem with yourself and not just giving up and being angry about the world. That’s a good mindset to have.
Sex is fun, but it doesn’t cure loneliness. If you’re looking for a longer term solution then start looking to build lasting relationships, be open about having autism and you’ll find that the people you end up meeting will be going into things with you with a bit more understanding and empathy than if you just try, and fail, masking.
And, as always, a therapist is very useful when you’re trying to make a big change in your life. Having someone who is both educated in psychology and an unbiased observer can really help you see and understand things that you’d otherwise miss.
Only problem is every time I’ve been open about my autism with a person I was attracted to up front their interest starts to slowly fade. Its not immediate, but I suspect they start framing everything I say or do as part of my autism and I think they lose interest because of that. Though its impossible to know, and it might be coincidence or I’m seeing patterns where there are none. So I tend to keep it to myself with in person interactions more these days.
I think of it like this: Those people were never going to be compatible with you anyway and you spend a lot of time and effort masking and trying to hide who you are. It works for short interactions but not with anybody that you’re going to see often.
You’re better off acting in a way that makes you the most comfortable and true to yourself. The people who can’t handle that will filter themselves out. Rejection isn’t pleasant, but it’s brief. On the other hand masking constantly is exhausting even if it fools people for a bit.
You’ll be much more content in the long term if you just understand that it’s okay to just be who you are and let others decide if they like that or not. I guarantee that there are women (and men) who are compatible with you, but you won’t meet them by wasting your time with people who are not.