That’s so open-minded of them. Everyone is welcome.
So… if your visa has expired… can you just join ICE instead?
It’s by design. If you want to hire bottom of the barrel, you can’t have any standards or loops to jump through, or you might lose applicants. As a bonus, people who recognize this won’t even apply. As another bonus, articles keep spawning that make ICE out to be a badly run organisation of idiots, when in reality it’s actually exactly what it’s meant to be and run by ruthless fascists.
They are the SA, no ? So what are the SS gonna be and who’s lined up to manage them?
It might not be the best idea to expect this to 1:1 emulate history - ICE is being set up to be both the SA and SS, but neither exactly resemble the former groups. It’s a useful metaphor, but overfitting is possibly a trap for us to fall into.
Being made privately from their favorite troops of ICE / CBP
the SS probably did better background checks.
Everyone apply for ICE!
Either the system gets so bogged down they can’t recruit anyone, or we end up outnumbering them. Either way, we resist them.
it would be hilarious if ICE was full of anti trump personnel
If just one ICE agent in 50 were a low-key saboteur just quietly, “accidentally” fucking up every single thing that comes their way, it would be disastrous for ICE
I’m gleefully imagining the Truth Social rant where he calls ICE woke
I wanna get that 50K signing bonus and then just bail out
Or just applying and forgetting just to tie up their system
Read the fine print for the sign-on bonus to make sure. Either sounds like a worthy use of time, but everyone needs to decide for themselves what they’re willing to do for the resistance; don’t pick a fight just because some guy on the internet said it was a good idea.
Whatever your choice, you’re the only one who will suffer the consequences of it, so it only needs to satisfy you.
I wonder if I should tell My disabled nonbinary partner to sign up for ICE, grab the 50 grand, and flee the country with it
The sign on bonus is a retention bonus for staying 5 years. You, myself, the entire world know he is not good for paying bills.
Every single member eligible hire will be let go at 4 Years 354 days, or just not paid at all. See the $2,000 Check they were going to send to every American.
5 years is crazy, even Elon companies don’t make you wait 5 years for a vest
It’s because the election is a 4 year cycle. He will either be dead, in jail, or emperor supreme by the time the 5 years is up so he will never have to pay.
Ah Art of the deal, See this is why im not president
Do it. Crime is legal now.
grab the 50 grand, and flee the country with it
Usually sign on bonuses are broken out over a period of time, you’d receive say 25% in your first paycheck, 25% after 3 months, 25% after 6 months and the last 25% after 12 months. Or in my wife’s case when she took a CNA role in 2021 she got $1k in the first paycheck, $1k after 3 months and the last $1k after 6 months for her $3k sign on bonus
I think the case with ICE is 5 years. Which isn’t a crazy time period for large incentives to kick in normally, but the odds of these ICE agents still being employed in 5 years isn’t great if MAGA goes down, and if it doesn’t then 50k won’t buy a decent pair of shoes in 5 years.
Though the base pay is far from bad with the job requirement of a pulse. So it’s not like the department isn’t bleeding cash to make USA worse.
Gosh that is so much less exciting than what it sounds like.
If true we could all sign up and waste a lot of their time.
Why not get hired and also submit your daily timesheets to get paid?
Do they check citizenship?
Ok so I can’t read the actual whole article because apparently it’s paywalled but from the bit I was allowed to read (and the writing style seems to pad out quite a bit so it never actually gets really to the point) seems to indicate that they are just trying to hit targets which is why they’re not checking people.
Stephen “PeeWee Himmler” Miller has demanded a daily quota of scalps, and they haven’t been able to come close, even with their openly Unconstitutional tactics, because his quota is comically high. So PeeWee Himmler is demanding a comically high number of agents to accomplish it.
He’s a psychopath who probably goes into screaming fits at the slightest provocation, so they are desperate to keep the lid on his fury, so they are hiring as many breathing bodies as possible, no matter what it takes.
I’m definitely too old, but they have a really good signing bonus, and I could use the money, so now I’m considering signing up, just for the money, and the fun. I’d love to get in there, collect a fat paycheck, and be ridiculously incompetent at the job. It’s a government job, they won’t fire me, and they need warm bodies really badly. So they’ll just probably stick me in a dark office somewhere where I can doze all day, and scroll my phone, and fuck up everybody’s paperwork on the computer. Maybe I’ll bring my guitar into the office to play while the boys are out building up their charges for their future court cases.
BTW, they get 47 days of training. Do you know why its that specific number? Because Trump is the 47th president. That means someone decided to make the training period that length because they knew Trump would hear about it, and they wanted to get that little rimjob in to please him.
What a bunch of fucking losers.
Nice work! However, an ICE agent is an ICE agent…get the rope!
name checks out
If the regime rises to power, commits atrocities, and you’re still an agent when it’s over, sure.
If you get in early, be part of the resistance, and help keep the atrocities from happening, then no.
You’ll still want people on the inside. Where they can sabotage and hinder the regime. And ultimately be eyewitnesses for the trials when its all over.
Hmm, humor exists.
Are background checks woke?
So, why aren’t people applying for these jobs so they can go undercover and expose identities and illegal conversations?
If they’re desperate to hire it should be pretty easy to get in.
I would just do my job extraordinarily poorly and dox everything and everyone I worked with.
i think a whistleblower just released/doxxed like thousands of members recently
Its going to be extremely hard to get another job after too when you have a huge 3 year hole in your resume.
Yeah, just be completely incompetent. They’re so desperate to hire anyone they can get, it’s a government job, and they have a bottomless budget, so they won’t fire you, they’ll just put you where you’ll do less damage, like a desk job, with a computer, where you can fuck up everybody’s paperwork, lose evidence, deport EVERYBODY to Florida and set them loose (the weather’s nice, and it will infuriate DiSantis), etc.
Keep your boss on his toes explaining all the fuck ups coming out of his office.
Friendly fire.
I’m not gonna “join the NSDAP” and have that permanently tainting my name just for the off chance of getting that document to “expose” them… which probably wouldn’t do much if there is zero resistance.
Probably because that’s a good way to end up dead.
My excuses are:
- I don’t live in the US
- I don’t wanna quit my job.
Could be an interesting holiday for a few weeks. Fly in on a tourist visa, do the theme parks, get a job at ICE posing as a US citizen, leave with enough money to pay the first month’s credit card repayments on your FastPass.
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If we end up making it through midterms without martial law, at the very least they’ve put themselves together in a nice list to deal with once cleanup takes place.
It’s all proud boys and other fascist groups. They are now all going round terrorizing America. A fascist’s wet dream.
Wait so, free money glitch?
Alright, I am in.
It comes at the cost of being an ICE member, and that will follow you for the rest of your life.
If I manage to earn enough money during the ice raids and invest it properly and increase my wealth enough to ditch work forever, I’d say it would be a good exchange.
- Low level thugs tend to not earn that much money. Also applies to organized crime. There’s always superiors taking a cut.
- Going with follows you for the rest of your life, it could easily be that a later regime decides to hold you accountable for having been part of ICE. (Funny thing though, in Germany, the Nazis who got sentenced earlier tended to get more lenient sentences, assuming they weren’t at the top. For example, Hans Bodo Gorgaß, vergasungsartzt in Hadamar, who was after the war convicted of 1000 counts of murder, got out after 11 years and got to live a mostly normal life afterwards. Today teens who worked as Death Camp guards get life sentences. Though, those “teens” are by now in their nineties, so life sentence is not that long)
I will make sure to uphold the current regime then. They can change when I am no longer here
Free ice!! Great my freezer is on the outs
