https://youtube.com/shorts/4bpL14Z9RKE
The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.
“Women are so unreasonable! Amirite, guise??”
The only guys who are going to approach you are the guys with no boundaries. Which is going to feed the confirmation bias.
What confirmation bias? The confirmation bias of this straw woman you have here?
Story time! This isn’t here to say that dudes have it worse or just as bad or anything. It just made me think of this.
I have a good friend who wears wired earbuds often. He gets in a space where he doesn’t want to talk to anyone but he got to be out for one reason or other. I’ve watched person after person come up to him to talk. He rolls his eyes, takes out an earbud, make a huge show of pausing whatever he’s listening to while holding up the “Wait a second” finger. They’ll say whatever they’re trying to open with and he will nod and give the biggest fake smile. Then put his earbud back in. To continue the conversation they have to tap him again and wait for him to do it all over again. Some do, sometimes repeatedly.
Some people seem to have no concept that others aren’t just waiting for the chance to talk to them.
This whole thread is weird to me because being approached in public by people wanting to talk almost never happens. Not that I’m complaining exactly, it’s confusing and concerning when it does, but it’s hard to imagine it as such a normal thing that it has become a commonplace annoyance.
This seems dependant on location to me. In a region I lived before it would be rare that someone would talk to me in public like at the store, now where I’m at it happens all the time, people seem much more social in general. I used to be sort of confused when it did happen, now I’m used to it and it feels like a nice human moment when it does usually.
I don’t know what it is. I used to get approached semi-regularly, maybe once every few weeks when I was younger. But this dude, for whatever reason, was approached often. I think part of it is the places he was a lot of times. We’d be out at the bar (he would lend music/PA equipment to bands or small bars for a small fee and show up to basically drink for free) and there was one night I watched it happen half a dozen times. Not by the people who were borrowing equipment, but just random people who he didn’t know.
He said it never happened at like the grocery store or whatever, but very often in bars when he’d sit alone, less often in restaurants when he’d sit alone, and occasionally at the park when he’d go sit to read (headphones in). He’s good looking but not extraordinarily so and never looked especially friendly so that wasn’t it. It was both men and women, men more often but women more persistently.
Some folks just have something that makes others want to talk to them I guess. I imagine it’s worse for women for a few reasons (the way certain demographics of dudes are socialized, not knowing how a guy will react when you shut him down, etc). And some folks seem to believe that everyone is just waiting for them to strike up a conversation, even if the person they’re trying to strike it up with is obviously actively avoiding people.
It stopped happening to me. I’m not sure if I aged poorly over the pandemic or if I just look meaner these days. He moved away so I don’t get to watch that particular trainwreck anymore. I’ll have to ask him.
We’d be out at the bar
LOL! What psychopath sits at the bar with earbuds in?
I hate this though because I am not just trying to say hi, I am literally trying to explain to women why they should listen to me, so if they have headphones in they will never hear the arguments in the first place that I have honed in preparation through conversations with my AI Wives.
It is rude for women to just pretend like they can go about their lives and not center me, I am a man and I am the hero of MY STORY you have to listen to me.
Exactly. It’s like they don’t even realize who the protagonist is here.
Its not her story, its history. Right fellas!
I don’t mean this in a gay way, but men have such sexier minds than women, I just wish we could transport the minds of men into the minds of women so I could stop having to deal with these complicated feelings about my bros.
It’s like there’s a wall between us
Ughh I know right women are always putting up walls, all I am trying to do is knock down walls for no reason while screaming “WHAT ABOUT ME” in a tantrum. Then my friend Kyle who is super jacked has to come over and put his hand on my leg to calm me down by stroking it.
The best bros understand
Hey, when you are stiff, I am stiff, that is what matters even if we never even hold hands.
You just need to grab it and shift into a different gear. Like a car. A mean car. Or a sexy car. A strong, soft car. A car that knows exactly how i feel
Waiter! My steak is too juicy and my lobster too buttery!
The guy is not “so close to getting it.” He just appears that way because we don’t have the same bias he has. He’s actually quite far from getting it and he probably won’t even believe the truth when people explain it to him.
If he was close to getting it, he’d have gotten it already.
No haha, I didn’t take that from this at all either.
Meanwhile, the dirty looks I get when I’m on a bike ride and I startle nearly every woman I pass because she couldn’t hear me say “on your left”
Only the women, though?
and they CAN’T HEAR THE BELL EITHER
put the phone down, take the ear phones out and be more aware of your surroundings
At least turn off noise cancelling, you don’t own the bike path
Bell?
Push bikes have bells that you use to ding people when you’re coming up behind them to let them know you’re coming
Would someone needing a push bike even be going fast enough for it to matter? I’d think it’d mostly be toddlers riding them.
They mean push (pedal) bike vs motor bike, not a bike that you push around.
You can break bones falling off even a stationary bike, yes, it matters. People step out in front of you at walking speed wearing headphones and cause crashes that result in not so minor injuries - especially if you’re transferring your momentum into the pedestrian and their head hits the concrete. That’s without even considering damage to bikes and equipment. Helmets need replacing after a single impact.
You’re out of your mind if you think bikes are only really ridden by toddlers? And even then, what a great experience for toddlers to have preventable crashes
I never said bikes in general are ridden by toddlers, just push bikes. They don’t tend to have the strength to push very hard. Also doubt they’d be ringing a bell for anything other than to hear it themselves anyway
A push bike is a term used interchangeably with non-electric bicycles here, I was not aware they’re something else wherever you live
Maybe they’re just embarrassed about how much faster than them you are?
All you got to do is wave your hands in front of face and ask if they are using aptx HD, AAC, or some other codec. It’s an easy conversation starter.
Is there even a point in continuing to talk if they are not using LDAC?
Maybe not. Let them down easy and go on your way.
Is it? I work in tech and I would have not a single fucking clue…
Well then we’re not going to pick you up on the street!
Self awarewolf
Does he usually walk up to random people on the street who aren’t wearing headphones to try start conversations? 😬
Judging by replies to that thread… yes, quite a bit. One woman described how she had to wear ear protection after ear surgery and a guy removed that to talk to her from behind. She was in pain for 2 days afterwards.
Edit: my personal experience is I had 2 different guys tap on my shoulder and ask me to remove my earbuds by gesturing. Both times they were trying to pick me up. I was just on the way home from work, exhausted and also heavily married.
Oh my god, that’s awful
What is lightly married?
Idk I’ve known married couples that preferred to live far apart or other married couples who were casual partners but needed marital benefits
It’s a thinner batter - think tempura rather than chipshop fish (or corndog if you’re of the USian persuasion).
lol, maybe engaged? So like wearing just the engagement ring instead of both rings?
Soo… Just regular engaged?
But with a chance
I think it was jus a joke…
20 years in. Nobody is taking it that seriously any more.
H…How can someone come even close to think it is a smart move to stand behind someone, invading personal space (at minimum with their arm), grabbing and taking away ones belongings aka the headphones and then expecting that person will be happy to have a nice chat with you which results in a date?
Because they think they’re hot shit and have an ego the size of Jupiter. In their mind, they’re the catch and someone would have to be a (insert slur) to turn down such a gracious offer from the world’s most attractive “alpha male”.
Some people really are just that stupid I guess.
Cavemen like that only understand a wack on the head, and even then they think the woman is into them.
One woman described how she had to wear ear protection after ear surgery and a guy removed that to talk to her from behind. She was in pain for 2 days afterwards.
Sounds like she suffered consequences while the man who harmed her suffered no consequences.
We should be able to easily call police and sue for damages in such situations.
walk up to random people on the street who aren’t wearing headphones to try start conversations?
It’s strange to me that this would be considered out of bounds. “Pickup artists” aside, this really ought to be more normal.
Maybe a Generation and location thing, Gen Z here from Western Europe and i definitly would not dare/think about trying to pick up a person outside of a space thats specificly labled for dating.
For me its kind of a consent thing, outside of specific dating spaces i cant be sure that the other person wants to be botherd with dating.
Yeah 90s born here and the idea of just wandering up to someone while they’re out in the street, shopping or pretty much anywhere that isn’t like a bar (and even then unless they give some sort of indication) and running a line is wild.
My mates older brother in high school would insist that sort of stuff is how you do it. Fuck that. I hate people, mostly sales people or weirdos, bothering me when I clearly have every indication about my demeanour not to talk to me, do it. So why would I? It’s weird.
You should just talk to people to be nice. If it turns into something else, then great! But I hate when somebody starts a conversation with me and they have an agenda: like, they want me to give them money or join their religion or something like that. Just talk to people because it’s a nice thing to do!
And if somebody’s giving social cues that they want to be left alone, then…don’t do that. Because that wouldn’t be nice.
Probably it is just Americans being Americans.
Of course not, just hot women who can’t wait to speak to him. Except, y’know, those bitches who blow him off immediately. But those bitches are just getting in the way, the really hot chicks are still waiting just for him.
Took me a second to get that this was a dude missing the point. It seems so obvious I struggled to recognize how someone could be so blatantly unaware
First read I thought he meant that a lady might be blocking the path in the mall. Which happens too many times.
nathitheoblivousasshole
Humble huh
I disagree that’s the point. The point is generally to distract oneself or to keep focus. Neither of these two reasons preclude the willingness to stumble into s.o. actually worthwhile.
Whether earphones are supposed to serve as a sign to keep away depends on the culture and gender. In the States, for instance, people are way more often stopped by s.b. on the street than in Europe. The idea that s.b. would try to sell s.th. or preach to you on your path almost every day is very foreign to most Europeans.
Who’s sb?
I think I have cracked their completely unnecessary code
s.o. Someone s.b. Somebody s.th. Something
Oh, I thought s.o was Significant Other, i.e. a partner, and my reaction was “Yeah, the chances of that happening are practically zero”.
I hate it. I hate all of it.
Same here, man.
My entire day is ruined.
Someone who tried to sell you s.th
Honestly no idea
I don’t know but my brain wants it to be “some bastard”
It’s funny until you meet women that complain about not getting hit on and do this.
I have never, ever heard a woman complain about not being hit on. Not even chronically single women.
Are these women in the room with us now?
They are walking with earbuds on the road.
I don’t feel too bad for the 1 in 1000 women that weirdly crave being hit on in public with headphones on. Maybe some day she’ll meet the OP which is the 1 in 1000 men who weirdly don’t realize that people with headphones on don’t want to socialize.
Disregard them as you would any silly person. 🤷
