As an alcoholic… that lady is an alcoholic.
But could totally be a meet-cute for a really bad manga that runs for 74 chapters and then just vanishes.
Yeah, the fact she already had the bottle in the car…
If was me, she already would have some points in advantage since vodka is my drink of choice…
Legitimate question - what do you like about vodka? Do you mix anything with it? I’ve never found one I enjoyed, so I am curious.
It gets the job done and it’s cheap
Pure Grain Alcohol enters the chat.
zero faff
If served right, vodka should taste like almost tasteless cold liquid with just a little bitterness in it. Refreshing drink, if you ask me. It also a great appetitive for some dishes.
There’s nothing entirely wrong with this. I cannot function in some social settings without a little bit of liquor. Just half a can of white claw is enough to open me up somewhat.
I mean it’s meant to be funny, but in reality ½ a can of white claw and doing shots for 5 minutes are two very different things. Alcohol in volume is not a good anxiety remedy. Get help if you need to get drunk for social settings to be tolerable because becoming an alcoholic will make your life much, much worse.
yeah i mean we’ve all been there but the op is straight up textbook abuse
Good way to put it. Like I’ve had benders but I’m not drinking to hide my personality, most times it just makes it harder to communicate. Like right now I’m on a bender. Weed is also great. Most times instead of liquor pick up some flower. I’m on both atm and its great, highly recommend.
Maybe she’s counting on the date lasting a while. Or staying over for the night.
Or, and hear me out, OP is over-exaggerating for comedic purposes for content creation.
Or do you believe every story a stand up comedian says?
Do you think movies are real?
Drinking a pint of liquor in your car before a social event is a pretty solid sign of alcohol dependency.
Taking a twitter post completely un-sourced as 100% serious might also be a pretty solid sign of mental deficiency.
*Dating is rough only for guys
Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.
Meeting up with unknown dudes met on the Internet is a lot riskier for a woman.
Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.
As a non-fit-bro-adonis I have to put shittons of effort into my profile to make it stand out. It’s pretty grating when 70% of the women I’m scrolling through have the same generic-ass answers while also saying “I’m not like other women”
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Thinks liking the Office is a personality trait
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“Go on Adventures”
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“Fluent in sarcasm”
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States what their love language is
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What I order for the table: “Chips and queso!” Or “Margs and queso!”
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Simple pleasures: “clean sheets and coffee”
I have a rule that there has to be something I find interesting or want to know more about in someone’s profile before I will message them.
This immediately rules out about half the profiles I see.
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the act of getting a date might be easier for women, but the chances of the date going well are not higher.
Having a drink to calm the nerves is one thing, but spending several minutes taking shots of vodka before a date sounds like straight-up alcoholic behavior. Unless OP is greatly exaggerating, either she has a massive tolerance, or she would end up a drunken mess in front of her date, which would probably be much worse than a case of the nerves.
If I knew my date hand just taken five shots in short order the first thing I’d probably ask them is, “Can I call you a cab?”
I’d go shot for shot with her and we’d have a fucking blast.
Bunch of fucking virgins in here.
It wasn’t until I got clean that I came to understand that non-alcoholocs don’t see drinking as a competitive activity.
Good luck, I hope it never gets bad for you but that’s usually a question of when, not if.
Every girl I’ve ever known who tried 5 shots of vodka was crying by 3 and throwing up while taking #5.
I’m not a cab… YOUR A CAB… whatsh werz we tulking abit
Nerd!
/$
🤓 !
What if you had also taken five shots in short order?
The plot thickens.
Sounds like that short video series with the guy from Silicon Valley.
In that case I’d be too busy laughing at my own jokes to do anything useful.
Hippocrate
Bone apple tit
🦛📦
To be fair they said “5 minutes” but did not give a number of shots.
“s” implies at least 2, leaving some wiggle room that they where not accustomed to strong liquor and had trouble getting It down. 2 of them because they underestimate the effect of just one.
They also used the word “chug,” which is almost certainly an exaggeration to some degree, but it certainly implies more than two, IMO.
You don’t “pound” 2 shots. I feel like that’s a 4-5 shot minimum.
You don’t “pound” 2 shots. I feel like that’s a 4-5 shot minimum.
You don’t think I can pound two shots!?
Live your dreams
I’m pretty resistant to alcohol and numbing medications. I could do two double shots and just barely have the edge taken off.
Of course, I’d not even consider drinking to ease nerves, and there’s no f’ing way I’d be doing shots in my car; that’s a great way to get a DUI in most places.
You’re not even supposed to have alcohol within arms reach. Technically they can pull you over for having it on the back seat although I’m not sure how they would notice that.
Not in Mississippi, it’s actually legal to drink while driving provided you’re under the limit.
yeah laws on that vary wildly by location
Sounds very much like she was driven by a friend…
Much worse for him.
I, too, always keep an open bottle of vodka in my car, accessible from the driver’s seat. It’s just common sense.
I also sit in the parking lot before a date just staring at people in the cars next to me.
Of course! You dont want to be fumbling around god knows where for that shit! Its unsafe.
Exactly, that’s why I keep it right next to my loaded pistol and bag of oxy
It’s embarrassing when you go for a shot of vodka and end up with a pistol barrel in your mouth instead.
I was going to make a pun about Russian roulette with vodka or a bullet, but I realized vodka or bullet would still just be Russian roulette.
Happens all. The. Time.
Classic Wednesday night.
You can put it in a water bladder and strap it to the sun visor. Now you have a handy straw and then it’s as simple as taking a sip whenever you feel your vision go unblurry
I promised to use this knowledge only for good.
The vast majority of accidents are caused by sober drivers. Thank you for doing your part to keep our roads safe!
I like to take a shot every time I see a black car, gets me ready for work in the morning. Obviously I don’t drink and drive that would be dangerous, I wait until I’m traffic lights.
So when the cops stop you, you can take a swig right in front of them. Then they can’t prove you were drunk before that and can’t give you a DUI
A fifth of vodka, a loaded & unregistered pistol, a crack pipe, and a photo album of me walking by adorable dogs and not stopping to offer pets.
Not offering pets
You might as well have a child in the trunk at that point, you monster.
No meth pipe? No videos of you putting kittens in dumpsters? Fucking amateur
I know. I’m slacking off. My bad.
Sort of reminds me of the time my friend fixed me up with a friend of his partner.
OK its not the same but we met up at a nice chinese restaurant in amsterdam and I immediately found my date very hot. We had chemistry right away! When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear “only get a mixer” as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.
Turned out she is a flight attendant for klm and her purse was full of them!
This is why we should normalize committing societal faux pas and crimes on dates! Sounds like it was an incredibly fun time
My now-wife hid me from police one of the first times we hung out, couldn’t agree more!
Yeah it was a wild for certain!
I have not been on too many first dates, but I usually try to find something moderately illegal to set the vibe.
*the patter of seeds against stone*
“Yeah, they don’t let me feed birds at this park anymore”
Of course, gotta make sure you’re not with a square or a narc
Yeah, I mean, if they’re not into doing something a little out of the ordinary, how can you know you’ll be compatible?
When the server came to take the drink order my date lean in close and whisper to my ear “only get a mixer” as she pressed two small bottles into my hand and then winked at me.
Marriage Material
So, is your wife single or what?
Are you George Clooney from the 2009 comedy/romance Up in the Air?
Yes.
Dating is fine. Alcoholism is tough.
Yup, dating didn’t make her drink. Also I wouldn’t want to date someone who can’t function without alcohol.
Theres a difference between “i need to drink before socializing” and “i may not have dated in a while and a buzz would help calm the nerves”. theres plausoble explanation for this.
And there’s a difference between “I’ll have a sip of vodka to loosen me up” and “I’ll ‘pound shots’ and ‘chug vodka for 5 minutes’”
She could have just had a shot and spent the 4 minutes making wrenching faces holding it down…
But then the guy wouldn’t have “watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes” he would have watched her take one shot and 4.9 minutes not chugging. I don’t think they mean chugging for 5 minutes straight but I also think it’s silly to pretend like it was a teensy sip of vodka. Also the thing says pound shots so it’s at least 2.
I wouldn’t pay too much attention to that last part. The story is either fake or it is exaggerated to make it funny. In either case, vodka isn’t something a normal person would drink, let alone right before a date.
My only proper post-bar one night stand, we got to my place, and the girl pulled out of her purse the largest bottle of vodka seemingly imaginable. It was like some disturbing Mary Poppins shit and really was an appropriate harbinger of everything that followed.
Did she put it in your butthole?
No, that was a different girl, whole other thing. It just escalated quickly for a guy who isn’t super the taking girls home from the beeeest honky tonk in Utah type. It’d all sound made up, but it’s just how it accidentally happened. But I’m not divulging mostly because it’d probably be super vanilla to you freaks. (jk kind of)
Did she jump on top or just leave the lights on?
They did mention Utah, so probably took off the special underwear, jump humped, and then soaked in god’s loophole until morning.
Oh man soaking in god’s loophole after a night at the bar sounds like a great way to get shit on.
Thanks for the visual aid.
I always say that everyone should have aids.
Primarily, she wanted me to fist her and spit in her mouth, which. .in some other context, FINE, maybe? Maybe after your name sticks in memory or like…maybe next time? Preferably still probably no? I just wanted sex, it’d been awhile, Jesus Christ. We already went to Denny’s. Idk you just had to be there. I don’t kiss and tell. I’m a gentleman.
You might not kiss and tell but you do fist and tell.
I politely declined.
Poor girl just wanted a fist in her twat she’s not asking for the world.
Pre gaming it is a must in today’s economy anyway. Sounds like she had a good idea but rolled a nat 1 in the execution.
Where are young people supposed to even meet each other anymore? JFC the only place they’re allowed to be overtly sexual is the bar, where it’s expensive now. Dating websites suck now and if you approach anyone anywhere else, you’re a creep?
God damn no wonder we have a dwindling population. The only safe options are rich and asexual.
/yells at cloud
I basically did this once.
Except it wasn’t alcohol, it was molly.
The date was going poorly, because we were on different levels.
She said I was being egotistical, I apologised and told her I was ballin.
This was hilarious apparently, the date went smooth afterwards.
Nice, you were right, you were ballin.
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Women in movies: “Going to do a full blown date prep montage, complete with song and dance number, where I transform from mousy librarian to runway model over the course of 15 minutes. Come out cool as a cucumber and charming as a prince.”
Women in real life: “Going to throw on a top and some jeans, half watch a Netflix special about serial killers while I curl my hair, then down a mug of hard liquor to build up the courage to look a guy I’ve got a crush on straight in the eyes. Try to make it through dinner without mumbling, burping, or mentioning that I’m on my period.”
Absolutely love these “real life” women
Ok but if you’re nervous, presumably there’s an expectation that it might not go well…and then you’ll want to leave…in your car…while all that vodka seeps into your brain.
Someone who openly drinks while they’re sitting in the driver’s seat can get a DUI from that alone. They aren’t caring about driving drunk, I’d wager.
I’m not sure about every state, but as far as I know that would just constitute an open container. You would have to be over the legal limit with a breathalyzer or blood draw, or fail a roadside sobriety test to receive a DUI charge.
Again, every state/country is different
Probably my closest real life example to this was I had a breakfast date, but I ended up getting pretty drunk at a party the night before and showed up still drunk :(
I felt like an ass.
We went on a few more dates but then she suddenly stopped texting me. She messaged me like 2 months later and said there was a death in her family and she was sorry, but we didn’t set up any dates after that.
That was a rollercoaster of a story with a disappointing end.
It was disappointing, I did really like her!
But it’s okay, I like my now wife more than I liked her.
*dramatic
You were the distraction, and that is ok
What do you mean?
Reminds me of a first date where I arrived at the bar to find her with her friend, polishing off their second pitcher of margarita. They showed up an hour early to get absolutely smashed. The server came over and gave me a look that screamed, “Run away and don’t look back.” It was a fun date, but a very short relationship.
