(TikTok screencap)
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My friends in Alabama are like, “Yes, thank God, finally an opportunity to use all these guns I purchased.”
I appreciate you making a screen cap of this. Every once in a while my wife will show me a TikTok video of someone just pointing to some text - and I read the text but keep watching the video just waiting for something to happen. Annoys the shit out of me every time.
Thanks! A good portion of TikTok’s are just tweets with live video, so screenshots are my preferred way of sharing.
My hearing is way better than my wife’s so I typically just know what sounds are. But they got me in sight, I can’t find jack shit. Which is funny because my eyesight is actually better, I’m just bad at spotting.
My eyesight is shit (about -7.0 prescription lenses to correct) but my favorite game will always be these books I had as a kid called “I Spy” which functioned like a word search but only with pictures of little cutouts of various objects on a super messy but visually pleasing photograph of a themed environment on each double-page of the extra large but pretty thin (only about 20 puzzles per book or so), books.
Top notch training for me as a kid to navigate organized chaos, and find things around the room which had not been put away in any sensible spot after its last use.
Women seem far better at spotting, no idea why. It’s why they get frustrated with us guys, “Hey can you find thing?”, and we’re staring right at it. Can’t find any evidence to back that, just personal experience with many women.
My wife is better at patching up injuries and dealing with blood, so it just makes sense.
Latinas be like: *scoffs* “You’re such a little bitch. I’ll do it myself.”
Gracias, mami.
There’s a story about a raid by viking in a Scandinavian village where the mens of that village having hard time repelling the raiders, a woman then grabbed a sword, run outside, and slap her chest, which scared away the raiders.
I can’t remember where i heard that from and not sure if that’s true, but i want to believe.
You may be thinking of Freydís Eiríksdóttir and her (alleged) experience in Vinland.
As men fled during the confusion, Freydís, who was eight months pregnant, admonished them, saying: “Why run you away from such worthless creatures, stout men that ye are, when, as seems to me likely, you might slaughter them like so many cattle? Let me but have a weapon, I know I could fight better than any of you.”
Ignored, Freydís picked up the sword of the fallen Thorbrand Snorrisson and engaged the attacking natives. Surrounded by enemies, she undid her garment and beat the sword upon her breast.
I guarantee something similar happened at some point in history.
Bluffing is one of the oldest defense strategies in the universe, and predators are often confused enough into retreat if prey does it.
Look at cats and dogs. Cats hiss and swat and the dog runs off.
If a raider encountered a target where even the women acted as though they were trained and ready for a fight, that raid is possibly twice as dangerous for them as the next village over, so they’d likely just move on.
Marry a feminist
Everyone’s a feminist until there is a spider around.
I love spiders, really like to see them; but they don’t have a chance against the cats. The cats play small creatures to death.
Palmetto bugs though? I am so irrationally freaked out by them, I do ask the man, or my kids, to handle those. There was a next top model episode where the ladies walked with big hissing cockroaches, pet ones, and I would have been right out of there like a rocket.
But ask me to hold your pet tarantula? Heck yes! Cute fuzzy spider.
2nd night in Florida I was renting a shitty room and the bathroom didn’t have a light. Something was flapping around in there, thought, “How the hell a bat get in here?” Turned on my flashlight and saw my first palmetto bug.
Yeah. For me it’s be like: if we die then at least we’ll die together.
NOW WIFE, PREPARE THE FALCONUS GIGANTICUS FOR COMBAT, FOR WE RIDE NOW INTO BATTLE ON THE PEREGRINE WINGS OF GENDER EQUALITY AND RECIPROCAL ORAL SEX, BUT IN A MORE IMPORTANT, MORE LITERAL WAY ON THE WINGS OF THIS BIG ASS BIRD.
My partner and I are both feminists, but I still take care of the big spiders.
Pro-tip: become a principled spider advocate. “I think they do more good than harm if you just leave them be. If you want it out, you can deal with it…”
“babe no that’s steve, she’s an orb weaver and will just stay there and eat the flies that keep getting in. yes she’s named steve stop being insensitive”
I can tell you that you’d either better be good at dealing with bugs or you’d better be comfortable with both of us screaming.
Does that mean gay partner have no such weakness
The top gets sent to look and see what the noise is.
Men together strong
Ah, sons of Kronar are thee.
they both have to go see, douboe whammy
Buddy system says we both go, whatever our genders, except where someone has to keep the door from slamming shut and trapping us.
That’s when you go in the other room and playact confronting a hellish apparition.
“Foul beast leave this abode! By might and right I banish thee!” Then go back and get all the snuggles.
And they expect you to investigate while they cling like a crawdad to your shirt and arm, so you have no chance of defending yourself or them.
The word “crawdad” will always remind me of this comic
Just throw them in front of the danger. They’re your human shield.
The noise has no skin, a sharp implement, and lurches in staccato.
Best of luck, buddy.
Is this a quote from something? It’s beautiful
It’s just something I made up, but I did just finish out a 13k short story for a board game studio. My English has gotten good enough that people will pay me for it, so there’s that.
Dude’s in The Mist, run you fools!
Myst barely had any mist but was quite beautiful.
