The good times are especially good and the bad times are especially bad, currently dating one and confused a lot of the time
Sometimes she’s a “pick any hole” kind of girl with fictional tier blowjobs every morning but the flipside is I’m sometimes the worst person in the world because I said something triggering I don’t learn about until days later that isn’t even triggering to a normal person
I’m really sensitive like an empath so I’ve been losing sleep over whether to run or if her gushing love for me part time is worth the struggle, and also it’s stressful thinking I already locked in and she might do something bad to herself if I leave now
Girl is insanely attractive like beyond my league too for context, I’m 31 and she is 26, with cutting scars all over her body which don’t actually scare me but it means it probably will keep happening and there’s nothing I can do about it
So far she’s self aware and warns me when she’s about to get sick again and I think the maturity and honesty is why I haven’t ran yet. But even with warning, and her turning on me soon after, is still incredibly confusing for me
Yes, you should run. It probably doesn’t do you any good to tell you this now, as I know how intoxicating those times can be, but you should run. I was in exactly this situation. Also it WILL be hard to find equivalent sex in the future. Just try not to think too much about the fact that you might have now peaked in that regard.
If you get to the point that you want some helpful answers, consider reading Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I read it in one night, it was so helpful back in the day. See if maybe it touches any sensitive areas.
I’m mentally ill too to be clear so it kind of goes both ways here lol. I’m a self destructive type of person so I feel like I almost deserve and even enjoy being treated like shit in some sort of way
I’m raised by narcissists and I’m slowly deprogramming from that and I hate to admit this but I think part of the reason I like her is she is extremely easy to manipulate and it’s easy for me to get her to do whatever I want. I don’t really intend to manipulate people but it’s still something I do sometimes that I really wish I didn’t. People with BPD are easily manipulated usually
Same here. She really, really loved me, in her way, and I love(d) her. Closest I’ve had yet to something long-term sustainable. But was it tho? She compared me to Jesus and called me a sex god. She drew my penis as art. Touched me constantly. Said I looked and smelled like a French king (it was well-intentioned). Really took an interest in my hobbies–to the point that they became her hobbies and it became a lot. We were really, really close. I ended up having to call the police on her when she finally confessed to the cheating and it ended. She shaved her head and moved to Indonesia. As with the highs, so with the lows.
Dude that is crazy. Are you doing ok now? That would traumatize me for the rest of my life.
What you said is terrifying accurate to my situation, she treats me like some literal god
I don’t think she’s the type to cheat but you have me questioning that now. I am a lot more concerned she will kill herself rather than cheat tbh but if either of those things happened I’d be a destroyed person
It’s a trauma disorder so medication is really only fighting the symptoms. It can be healed tho. Not everyone with BPD projects it outwardly either and not all that do are abusive.
The good times are especially good and the bad times are especially bad, currently dating one and confused a lot of the time
Sometimes she’s a “pick any hole” kind of girl with fictional tier blowjobs every morning but the flipside is I’m sometimes the worst person in the world because I said something triggering I don’t learn about until days later that isn’t even triggering to a normal person
I’m really sensitive like an empath so I’ve been losing sleep over whether to run or if her gushing love for me part time is worth the struggle, and also it’s stressful thinking I already locked in and she might do something bad to herself if I leave now
Girl is insanely attractive like beyond my league too for context, I’m 31 and she is 26, with cutting scars all over her body which don’t actually scare me but it means it probably will keep happening and there’s nothing I can do about it
So far she’s self aware and warns me when she’s about to get sick again and I think the maturity and honesty is why I haven’t ran yet. But even with warning, and her turning on me soon after, is still incredibly confusing for me
Also she sent me this meme
Yes, you should run. It probably doesn’t do you any good to tell you this now, as I know how intoxicating those times can be, but you should run. I was in exactly this situation. Also it WILL be hard to find equivalent sex in the future. Just try not to think too much about the fact that you might have now peaked in that regard.
If you get to the point that you want some helpful answers, consider reading Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I read it in one night, it was so helpful back in the day. See if maybe it touches any sensitive areas.
It’s not just the sex that’s the best though. Nobody’s ever been this nice to me before just in general. I really don’t want to run :(
I’ll check that book thx
this is classic abuse victim rationalization.
Just because she treats you less like shit than other people in the past have, doesn’t mean she still isn’t treating you like shit.
I’m mentally ill too to be clear so it kind of goes both ways here lol. I’m a self destructive type of person so I feel like I almost deserve and even enjoy being treated like shit in some sort of way
I’m raised by narcissists and I’m slowly deprogramming from that and I hate to admit this but I think part of the reason I like her is she is extremely easy to manipulate and it’s easy for me to get her to do whatever I want. I don’t really intend to manipulate people but it’s still something I do sometimes that I really wish I didn’t. People with BPD are easily manipulated usually
oh by all means then. treat each other like shit and rationalize it or whatever.
So far it feels like a net win compared to the rest of my shit life and I was single for 1.5 years before this and I couldn’t really stand it anymore
No normal girl is going to tolerate me in a long term relationship, they are completely out of my league
Same here. She really, really loved me, in her way, and I love(d) her. Closest I’ve had yet to something long-term sustainable. But was it tho? She compared me to Jesus and called me a sex god. She drew my penis as art. Touched me constantly. Said I looked and smelled like a French king (it was well-intentioned). Really took an interest in my hobbies–to the point that they became her hobbies and it became a lot. We were really, really close. I ended up having to call the police on her when she finally confessed to the cheating and it ended. She shaved her head and moved to Indonesia. As with the highs, so with the lows.
Damn you can just up and move to Indonesia like that?
Dude that is crazy. Are you doing ok now? That would traumatize me for the rest of my life.
What you said is terrifying accurate to my situation, she treats me like some literal god
I don’t think she’s the type to cheat but you have me questioning that now. I am a lot more concerned she will kill herself rather than cheat tbh but if either of those things happened I’d be a destroyed person
Can’t it be kept in check with meds?
It’s a trauma disorder so medication is really only fighting the symptoms. It can be healed tho. Not everyone with BPD projects it outwardly either and not all that do are abusive.
https://ani.social/comment/12135224
The flipside is the meds will numb the qualities that make such people so special in the first place