- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
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why would you use an “opener” on random people getting into an elevator with you?
Did you catch the game last night?
you mean Dune: Awakening?
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
Hit all the buttons then run on the next floor.
I mean, they’re gonna have to try a lot harder than this generic orange bimbo-look. Every other girl on insta has this look. It’s like IKEA furniture. I looked at this pic for three seconds and I got bored already.
What would you prefer, one of the mass-produced goth girls from the goth girl industrial complex?
I’m into tomboys.
Now we’re talking.
Clearly
Well fuck, you guys are gonna see me on the news for leaking secrets if that’s on the table
…for legal reasons, that was a joke
Nice try Xi Jinping!
(But if it’s really you I’d like one of those defederalised rogue girls)
New Popular is still more interesting than Old Popular.
If they want to honeypot me, they’re going to need fursuits.
For real, I’d continue staring at my phone
I could give you my login to Confluence, but that would be a war crime.
If you try “openers” on women walking into elevators like a captive audience you deserve to die in a fire
Counter point:
I always liked this elevator. It picks me up when I’m down.Oh, the dad’s gambit.
Counter counterpoint:
Unfortunately it always brings me down when I’m up.Got it to move sideways. When I passed out drunk.
A captive audience for 15 seconds at which point they have a built-in reason to leave though
but where else am i going to meet someone
the only opener allowed is the open door button
MAGA face. Not even once.
I’d say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.
“Hi. What floor? Have a good night.”
What is this, an Axe commercial?
Most men do
Can’t speak for other men but I cum with my prostate.
The pee is stored in the balls.
I move to the side and brace for the most shrill pair of voices whose conversations consist mostly of “oh my gawd” “I’m like, really” and them complaining about what most other people would consider less than a mild inconvenience
Can you believe that guy in the lobby didn’t hold the door open for us?
I take my job very seriously. They’re gonna have to work pretty hard if they want that blend of 11 herbs and spices.
Is that what kids are calling it these days?
You ladies like lemmy? There’s a whole bunch of socialism in my room and we’ve got femboys coming up later.
Rescue-Boat Lips and orange cake fondant… classy…
I use stairs. It’s better for the heart
The amount of men I’ve seen who think they could be target for a spy honeypot genuinely cracks me up. Don’t worry bro YOU are safe.
I mean, the US armed forces has to hold regular “know your fucking number” meetings, because the people with security clearance keep getting honeypotted. Basically, “You look like Mr Potato Head with more acne scars and daddy issues, and you smell like wet beef. You’re an Iowa 3 at best. Maybe a 3.5 if you bothered to shower before you hit the bar. If a solid California 10 walks up to you at the bar right outside of the base, and she seems really interested in what you do for work, she’s not interested in you. Know your fucking number, and be suspicious when anyone outside of your range tries to flirt.”
'Sup. Continue doom scrolling my phone
