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This definitely reads like it’s written by the pelican, addressing someone with a baby
They never got over being passed for delivery duties by the storks
I would not trust a pelican with ANYTHING! https://youtu.be/phUs2kIGY9M
The strength with which I was rooting for that pigeon; but I already knew, the moment I started the video.
TIL I learned that pelican mouths are the prefect size for babies. In fact, the pelican mouth is soft and comfortable which is prefect for sleeping babies. Not only are pelican mouths soft and comfortable, they are the prefect shape for babies. The shape is important to provide support for babies. Pelicans can be trusted to keep babies safe in their mouth.
Put the baby in the pelican mouth.
We can trust pelicans to keep the baby safe.
This reads like any Amazon product description of the last two years.
This is the equivalent to “Im so hungry i could eat a horse”
… Just checking.
I got to hang out with, feed, and pet capybaras and they are some of the chillest mothafuckas I have ever experienced
GET. IN!
I like how this style of writing seems to honestly reflect internal deep-level thought processes. It feels like debugging into the assembly level of consciousness.
Only if you’re not ADHD. Then it’s like, “pelican mouth. Oh yesterday was weird. What’s that fucker on the sidewalk doing?! lol movie quote is funny. Will dinner be tasty? What was dinner? lol babies in bird mouth. mmmm chicken…”
for me it’s more like
- pelican mouth is weird
- I think I saw a pelican yesterday walking funny
- reminds me of that zonked out guy on the sidewalk
- that reminds me of this vaguely relevant movie quote about drunk people
- I wish I had some movie popcorn
- I thought I already ate, why am I hungry?
- this must be how the pelicans feel
- pelican is bird and bird is chicken mmm I want chicken
to outside observers it looks completely random but it’s all vaguely connected (that last one was a stretch)
mmmm chicken
ADHD brain is multi-threading
Yes but without any synchronization mechanism and full of dirty writes and reads.
My thing with pelicans are their freaky ass eyes, I can’t fucking tell what they are looking at and for some reason that fucks with me.
I don’t trust them. I was at a bird sanctuary and a pelican was blocking the walkway. Every time I looked at it or tried to walk past it would turn it’s head sideways and look at me. Than open and close it’s mouth and make two loud snaps with it’s beak.
After awhile of a standstill an employee there came by and said “oh don’t worry, he’s not going to hurt you! Just walk by him he’ll move.”
Fuck that! Even with the assurance I was still like fuck no. Eventually it moved and I scuttled past, but didn’t keep my eyes off it. Afterwards it jumped back on the path behind me and started waddling after me, slowly. Sure it might have been harmless, but it sure as fuck wasn’t projecting that.
We need to mobilize against these freaks, the mess with my head just as much as horses and their evil beady ass eyes
i’ve never have reason to distrust peliccan so why not
Right. It’s a peli-can not a peli-don’t.
I peli-would if I peli-could.
how I convince heroin addicts to come into my house
That’s gotta be related to whales.
Are you a pelican out pelicant?
