England need democracy, free speech, and imperial measures NOW
Oi, you got yer internet licence, mate? Can’t be crackin’ these jokes if you ain’t a proper grown-up, innit?
One of 3 jokes.
Its either either :
“loicence”
Haha no spices
Or “bad teeth”
My favorite to poke at is treating anything with a blade on it like it’s a deadly weapon with no other purpose.
Can’t have a locking pocket knife.
There was a group that wanted to ban pointed kitchen knives.
Had a dude tell me he doesn’t carry an axe or saw when camping because it “might scare passersby”
Photos of police “hauls” that show screw drivers and hammers as “deadly weapons that don’t belong on the streets”
So it’s at least 4 jokes.
You forgot “bo’oh ‘o wa’er”
Don’t forget the bizarre “r” into everything like drawring, the lawr, etc.
That’s called an intrusive R
Thats more American in my experience That and completely dropping entire parts of words for absolutely no reason I can understand
Ex. Comfortable somehow becomes comftable. Drawer becomes drawr. Wednesday becomes wensday
People (I’m in the US) are pretty much always astonished to realize, when I ask them to say the word “important”, that they more often than not will pronounce zero of the T’s in the word, when I point out that they didn’t.
It always really stuck out to me as a kid when Shawnee Smith (probably most famous for the Saw movies now), on the old sitcom Becker, would always enunciate the T’s in that word—that’s what made me realize how weird it was that everyone wasn’t saying it that way, lol.
And hhherbs, because there’s a fucking H in it!
I’ve only ever heard that “added r” thing when watching BBC stuff. Can you link me to some Americans saying drawring instead of drawing, for example?
The added r shows up in American Midland dialect. Wash becomes warsh, etc
Interesting, thanks.
Huh thats really interesting ive never heard that on BBC
Its all over the place in New England especially in MA
Hm, I’ll try and find some examples. It just fascinates me how things like language evolve chaotically, like tiny changes that somehow then become the new equilibrium point.
I didnt know people from Boston could pronounce Rs at any point, let alone add more. “Pahk the cah.”
Apparently, there’s some sort of linguistic exchange program within British English where T’s are traded out for R’s, and then a persistent logistics issue causes the R’s to be distributed incorrectly.
I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking about this important issue… I wonder what Susie Dent thinks of it.
Also, sailing away because of their ugly wives and terrible food.
I’m really glad I didn’t have to see the word cunt here that would have really ruined my day
This is not the UK Alan Turing died for
Alan didnt die for any UK. He dies because of fascist homophic UK government drove him to suicide.
Yay! You’ve caught the essence of the joke I tried to make
Don’t worry, I got it.
🫂
Much too soon! (but totally a good one, i ill be stealing this one)
Armed units show up and arrest the stabbed bobby for not having a dying license
I say this as an American. The UK is not ran by adults
I’ve been to this country and they do this type of shit covenantly
Emphatically uncensored:
Oi! You got a permit for that uncensored meme?
Was that necessary?
It’s my new hobby.
To make that joke? No.
To make the joke, having already decided to make it, as funny as possible? Yes.
I literally couldn’t make out the word
You’re right. I adjusted it.
Who in the actual fuck censors a 4Chan post
A 4CHAN POST
Writing cunt in Union Jack filled text? This is British cultural heritage!
Okay then
I don’t know why you’re taking flak though. Very silly.
deleted by creator
It wasn’t me, I swear.
The irony of this image being censored .
But think of the children
You have to verify your age to see the uncensored image.
drinks verification can
It’s an older meme, sir. But it checks out. We were going to let it pass.
No swearing license
Especially since cunt isn’t even a swearword in English.
It is definitely an American who censored it.
It’s an odd one because it wasn’t even a word in common usage until about 50 years ago, so I don’t understand where the Americans got their attitude from since it appears to have been entirely self-generated.
From Wikipedia
It goes back to at least the year 1230, and was excluded from the OED from the 18th century until 1960. So it wasn’t just Americans.
My wife just told me otherwise.
It was already like this when I found it.
Did you find it on its way to school?
Thx m8
Cunt.
You got a loicence for that?
You can. But it’s not required.
The fuck it isn’t
But you need a license to do it in the UK. Unless you’re a refugee, then none of the regular standards apply.
Unless you’re a refugee, then none of the regular standards apply.
Fuck off.
Seems someone isn’t a Brit.
U wot m8?
Not like 'murca where you have to register your photo ID in order to fap.
that is coming to the UK and the EU soon. It is almost like these people are saying “while Trump is doing some outrageous shit, lets slip in a couple quickies ourselves shall we?”
Yeah I think a lot of people don’t realise how significant these changes are going to be. It’s a big increment of the surveillance state. The fuckin Labour party are making a big lurch to the right, the Palestine Action thing is another sign of the times.
you mean kinda like how you have to upload a photo of your face to do the same in Britain?
I just skip two steps and crank one out to the picture of my face
Huh? It’s that way in some states but wasn’t it recently made that way in the entire UK?
In my state they tried that but everyone ignored the law because they didn’t include a way to enforce it.
Pornhub and only pornhub is blocked but if I gave a shit I’d use a VPN
It’s the same in the UK. The politicians bitch and moan about it but they’re not actually going to do anything about VPN because that would be far too complicated to work out and enforce, and it would force them to admit that the law doesn’t work, and they don’t want to draw attention to that.
I know e621 was blocked for awhile but then they realized there was literally no punishment for ignoring the law lol
And also censor swearwords on the internet.
I can’t believe the TV license is real. I just can’t. I guess it helps makes good tv tho
Americans fund public TV and radio infrastructure through taxes, Brits just make it opt-out if you meet certain criteria by labeling it as a license.
You tell me which has more “freedom.”
The one where I don’t have to upload my I.D. to watch porn, BABY! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅
I’ll just leave this here https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/porn-site-verification-states
Sometimes I forget how much freedoms we have in Washington State. The only thing is strict gun laws, but it’s mostly background checks and limited magazine sizes
Limited mag sizes are a legit issue, but NICs checks are federal.
The only thing limited mags are effective against is the possibility to have more rounds in a home defense situation (which is really only a problem if there are multiple invaders, but of course there usually are, that’s not usually a solo activity).
Their stated objective (to reduce the amount of rnds/mag so mass shooters are less effective) is complete hogwash, magazines can be changed in one literal second, and sometimes the shooters even prefer the 10-20rnd mags because the standard 30s are harder to hide. Changing mags is only a problem when someone is returning fire, if you’re completely unimpeded you might as well have a damn lever action.
And it’s not like mass shooters are law abiding citizens except in the small area of murdering random people… They can easily drive one state over to Idaho and get whatever they want, and if they’re out, continue south to Utah or east to Montana. Nobody is going to check your car on the way back…
I grew up in WA, and everyone got around whatever law they didn’t like. Want to blow up big fireworks but your town doesn’t allow it? Go to the local res, hide them under a blanket in the car, and be a very law abiding citizen on the way home (and blow them up in a random neighborhood). Before weed was legal, people would just grow it in the forest on public land, which was literally everywhere.
The mag law just exists to piss off law abiding citizens and is the same “save the children” BS excuse that’d being used to effectively ban porn and other things across the country. Solve the problem another way.
Tbh you don’t even have to drive, you can 3d print standard capacity magazines and then use a spring, which you can buy in any state, or cannibalize one from another mag (certain mags that can be legally bought in restricted states work too, but a man has to keep some secrets).
But also yeah driving works too, and plenty people have done it.
I grew up elsewhere, but have similar experiences regarding weed, fireworks, and more. Laws don’t stop people from doing anything they’re significantly intent on doing in my experience.
Totally agree, and I extend that to all the pointless feature bans. Their true purpose is for politicians to posture for reelection lol, same with the anti-porn bullshit, just different politicians.
well I live in Georgia (US state) who brought it in before the UK did.
The TV license is definitely real. All the others are fake though (I believe).
(i believe)
Best joke in this thread
Thanks for noticing me, Senpai.
A TV Licence costs £174.50
Wtf is this in addition to paying for cable/satellite?
Nope. You can just plug your TV into the aerial to get BBC + free channels. Netflix and whatever costs extra tho
I’m surprised that according to the website, they actually let you get away without a license if you only use commercial streaming services and don’t watch any BBC content. In Germany, that excuse doesn’t fly. As long as your device has the capacity to receive aerial broadcast, you have to pay, whether you watch it or not is irrelevant.
In theory, but the BBC has been known to harass people into paying, even pressuring you into letting them into your house even though they don’t have the right to do so.
afaik in Germany you even have to pay if you have no device that to receive anything. Every household has ro pay wirth a few exeptions.
Pretty sure not owning ANY broadcast receiving devices is the only way to get around it, but that’s extremely difficult to accomplish. Keep in mind radio counts as well (though you can be eligible for a reduced rate if you only have radio access and no TV), including the one in your car, your stereo, or your alarm clock. Owning a TV with no antenna hooked up does not count either, since it’s trivial to do so, and you could just be hiding an antenna in your attic or your basement.
Basically, the only way to legally skirt the fee is to live under a bridge or in a forest without any electronic devices besides a flash lamp.
Pretty sure not owning ANY broadcast receiving devices is the only way to get around it
That was a thing years ago, but nowadays everyone has to pay (except if you have a low income and receive social benefits)
I mean we have free over the air TV here in the states too, just don’t need a loicense for it
Do people elsewhere in the world pay for “cable” tv? I know we had a version here in Australia but it was so rare, no one really used it.
It was pretty big over here in the US, and still is with Gen X and older. Nowadays, pretty much the only reasons to get it are if you’re a sports fan or enjoy brainrot 24/7 news networks
Brexit really was a mistake
The long knife prohibition is real.
The early idea was to support the state-owned and state-operated channels through taxes. Then the channels got privatized and now the taxes are going straight into the pockets of The Brexit Bunch. I mean why would they voluntarily cut off a money source that people were already paying.
In San Diego they had a toll bridge… once it was paid for they kept the toll. When asked why they were still charging a toll… They said the toll booths still cost money to run. They had to be sued for the toll to stop
Having to charge toll because they need money to run the toll booths is the most Kafkaesque thing I have heard in a while.
This is/was a thing in many other European countries too.
In Austria it used to be (not long ago, a few years at most) that only people who owned a TV needed to pay it, not anymore, now every household has to pay it, so it is basically a household tax.
It’s not a tax tho? At least not in Germany. It’s going directly to the state-broadcasting service but unconditionally; the idea being it’s harder to influence the content or threaten them with cutting off their funding.
This is also the case in Austria according to https://orf.beitrag.at/faq/allgemein so whether to call that a “tax” or not is purely a terminological question. It used to be that this was only required for owning a TV, but this was hard to enforce because there was no automatic legal requirement to let inspectors into one’s home and companies started to produce TVs without a TV tuner (i.e. could only stream from the Internet) to get around this.
Pretty accurate, all my butter knives are unregistered
Yes, constable. This bloke right here.
Br*t self-censorship LOL
