transcription: just saw a straight woman CONFIDENTLY say lesbian marriage isnt a real marriage its just “two best friends who get each other off” and like bestie, idk what has gone wrong in your life but thats exactly what marriage is supposed to be, regardless of the genders involved. as opposed to real marriage, where you have two people who dislike each other and dont get each other off.
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This is some real talk!
As for the bottom comment of the screenshot, marriage has typically seen as economic for much of human history. So yes, real marriage is when two people dislike each other and don’t get each other off.
Historically marriage used to be a legal relationship for the purpose of discussing who takes care of the children. Children are really expensive and if it isn’t cleared uo who’s responsible for them, you end up with a situation where nobody seems responsible for them and the children suffer. To prevent that situation, marriage was introduced.
As the joke goes:
Baby, this relationship is so good I want to get the government involved!!!
However I really feel that marriage is a vestige of the patriarchy and shouldn’t exist.
Appreciate the sentiment and agree with most other comments here.
Even though most people view it emotionally or under whatever religious pseudo authority, marriage is explicitly a contractual relationship similar to a business partnership. That contract creates specific financial and other obligations, liabilities, and privileges that you agree will be overseen by an authority that is in most cases a family court with incredible latitude to make determinations that heavily effect your life and that of your marriage/business partner. So, maybe take it at least as seriously as you would starting a new business with someone.
“My marriage is better than yours” <= usually people who feel like shit and see no way out.
Proooooojectiooooooon
as opposed to real marriage where yo have two people who don’t get along and don’t get each other off
I’ve seen so many of these - couples who viciously hate each other yet ‘don’t believe in divorce’
I have a feeling this person might not be as confident about their sexuality as they are about married life…
Marriage is just formalising the intent to continue fucking your best friend. Sexuality is completely irrelevant.
Fucking your best friend for tax benefits.
Realistically the fucking is optional so long as the both of you have agreed to the arrangements.
Like I’m ace and my partner and I have been married for 8 years. It’s just been an 8 year long sleepover with my best friend with added tax benefits.
I’ll never understand the assertion that it’s normal for married people to not get along with their spouse or their spouse isn’t their best friend. What exactly do people think the point of marriage is beyond religious reasons?
It’s easy and common for the sparks to die down after 15, 20 years and you’re left basically living with someone who feels like an acquaintance. It’s a trope for a reason.
BTW there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people are mature enough by then to make it work.
Tell that to every person who has been married for 40+ years and is still madly in love with their spouse. It’s very common.
I’ve been with my wife for sixteen years next month. I’m still madly in love with her and I genuinely like being around her. I kinda hope she feels the same way about me.
I wouldn’t say it’s normal, I think that’s just cope from people who’re scared of being alone or can’t afford to live separate.
I think societal pressure also contributes. Not as common today but it’s definitely still a thing.
So I grew up homeschooled with a conservative Christian mother. A lot of people I knew got married from the same small group of families, right after high school, and started having kids right after. (I know 2 sisters from one family that married 2 brothers from another). It’s what everyone did. Nobody gave themselves any time to meet new people, just married someone their age and the opposite sex they’d grown up with. Also, nobody had sex or lived with one another prior to getting married so you don’t really know who you’re marrying. But when you’re taught from an early age that people of the “world” are misguided and will never understand you, that’s what you get. I didn’t fall into this, but my brother did.
Be old/conservative, want to have sex at 18 because hormones, you can’t unless you’re married, get hitched for life to the first attractive person who shows up, wake up in 10 years and realize you married a stranger and you don’t really get along.
accidentally play the long game instead
> build community group for shared hobby
> get a few dozen ppl
> group gradually over years expands to be a lot more
> together with friends make a sidegroup with those y’all like talking with, so y’all dont spam the rest of the community under
> continue chatting about hobbies, gay stuff etc
> eventually you and another realise you like each other
> talk with them more
> oops now you have a date
> meet up irlthats how i got into a t4t at least, basically the online version of creating/joining a hobby club and realising you like each other.
and tbf, if you think about it, a real good relationship should be that anyways - it’s like having best friends but you do much more than that, like cuddling and mrrrping together :3*
shared interests and complementing personalities help amazingly more, tbh. looks are great, but unless if you’re going for a short term thingy, i feel like personality is something you should prioritise on. but to each their own.
* like yeah there’s fwb but a romantic relationship is a little different. there’s this kind of level of trust where you can be truly yourself and tell each other the wackiest shit.
Tbf, I do feel spouses have a duty to hold eachother to a higher standard than friends do. For mutual improvement, growth, etc… And shared ownership/finances is huge. And often raising kids. Marriage is a lot more than just friendship, though that is a massively important part.
I don’t think it’s all that complicated to consider platonic and romantic relationships different
Ever heard of shotgun marriages?
I am familiar with the term. However they are usually for religious reasons. The notion that one must marry due to pregnancy is arbitrary.
Marriage is really about tax filing and its propaganda from the sex and chocolate industries to say otherwise.
I love my wife very much that’s why I want to do intimate things together like fill out form 1040 while cuddling.
I got married and it doesn’t come with any tax benefits 😭
Mmm yes 👅💦sexy fill 🪣💦me with dat💯💶 1040 😩🥵de IWS is gonna go aftew🕵️🥷🏿me ooo myaaah fill up that A💥3️⃣8️⃣ daddy 🫦🥵🥺she taxin on my 冰淇凌🍦til i whip out my gock 🍆🌊 an dey bussy🍑 snap, it till i wack wack and we smash ouw🍒 tidddies togeddew 👅👅me luv MAWWIAGE😤 only CHWISTIAN ALLOWED ✝️;;; ouw chwilden will PWAY 🙏🧎 to de OWNLY TWUE BANNER🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️⚧️WHICH WE STAND FOW… aww gay wives mattew 😹💪
what a terrible day to have eyes
I both hate it and love it. Lmao
Thank you, now I know what having a stroke must feel like.
Oh yeah, conservative christians like to stroke.
This is what conservatives see when a guy has long hair.
You don’t gotta tell on yourself like that, ma’am.
Well there’s also romantic attraction. I know some aros who would love to fuck their best friend without any romance, but alloromantics tend to dislike that because they go and fall in love. Romantic love.
Also aces who go falling in love without wanting sex.
This is me I think. My most long lasting relationship was basically me and my best friend hanging out, living together, and having sex. I loved her a lot but looking back I don’t think it was ever quite in the way she wanted me to. We talked about marriage but it never really sat right with me. It’s been hard to accept that I might be aro. When I think about it too much I just feel sad because I’m afraid the kind of relationship I really want is impossible. Best friends who bang. I don’t want the exclusivity, expectations, or implicit sense of ownership of a romantic relationship. I value my autonomy way too much for that to feel anything but suffocating. I want to just choose to be with my besties every day and oops 30 years have gone by and we’re still together vibing and fucking.
Honestly, kinda the most wholesome way of describing the perfect aromantic relationship. I’m ace and deeply romantic, so it can feel hard to relate to what you describe. But I can respect it.
Marriage isn’t committing to have sex with the other. Rape in marriage has been illegal for around 30 years. To me a marriage means committing to a partnership. This reductionist view feels harmful.
Committing doesn’t overrule consent, nor does it inhibit your choice to change your mind. I agree marriage doesn’t give either partner a “right” to sex but neither does it give a “right” to a partnership.
I’m being a pedant, i assume you meant to use “committing” in two different senses there: agreeing while maintaining agency vs. agreeing and foregoing agency. The earlier comments could be interpreted using either sense to get a different meaning, and i think the former was intended.
You are right. The former was intended.
For me marriage is just the formalisation of a relationship.
Same with a civil union.
