- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
I doubt it.

My moka pot ain’t talkin’ to no one.
It only sings a sweet burbling song of coffee to me each morning. And afternoon.
Seriously. I’m not really sure why a coffee maker needs to have any technology. My electric kettle is about the highest tech thing in the whole process.
There’s tech, and then there’s electronic tech. I’m sure the filter paper is waaaaay more high tech than the kettle. Seriously, check out the engineering that goes into filter mediums, it’s insane.
I have a stainless steel one but yeah pour-over gang reporting
I’d recommend one that’s not plastic. (Though I have that same one and use it occasionally.)
The steam from the water powers a micro rotor and the coffee acts as an antenna, duh
Water boils. Evaporates to steam. Turbine goes brrrrr.
Hey, that’s a haiku
Dude when I tell people I only do pour over coffee people are always like “you know you can get a coffee maker for 20 bucks”
I just prefer how little space these things take up. Plus I rarely drink more than 2-3 cups a day.
Oooo, a family member give me their old drip coffeemaker because I took too long with my French press one time while they were visiting. They honestly thought they were being helpful. It’s been sitting in the closet since the day they left it here.

Guess I’ll have to keep making coffee the old way
All jokes aside, IoT devices suck.
Why does a dishwasher need to connect to a remote server to use its full functionality? Why does my coffee maker need me to start it using an app? At that point it isn’t a feature, it’s a dependency that the company behind will eventually shut down one way or another.
Nothing IoT is allowed in my house if it can’t be fully managed locally with Home Assistant.
Frankly you shouldn’t stop with just IoT devices. My sister wouldn’t listen to the HA so she’s not allowed over. It was a bit of a fight in the family but the dog listens so it got to stay and I think that’s totally reasonable.
Damn, which integration did you use for the dog?
Ii use esphome to flash the firmware on his shockcollar. Now when he barks the shock collar on my sister goes off and she gets him a treat.
HA?
Home Assistant
Kinda relevant here

Eyes his french press suspiciously
Mine said “On ne passe pas!”, so I knew it was one of the good ones.
Bon jour!
Shoots coffee maker Americanly. Shoots toaster too, just to be sure.
Wait until you find out what they’re doing to you through your toilet seat!
I don’t actually mind that. I kinda like that. (secretly)
Maybe it’s finally time we start kink-shaming some people.
I also like being kink shamed. (Not a secret)
why would I care? the US is spying on me and they’re a much bigger threat to me
If you bought a coffee pot requiring network access and give it unrestricted internet then you deserved to become a government pawn
Gonna tell my mom I got a government job.
What’s the worst that can happen? China takes over and I’m forced to slave my life away and not be able to get anything I want?.. oh wait…
I was gifted a thermal insulated coffee mug with built-in battery to keep hot. Connects to phone via Bluetooth. Got warnings that the mug would be able to track all 50+ Bluetooth MAC IDs that are in range (I’m in an apt building). That mug will never get turned on or used
As @Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com said, that’s how every Bluetooth device works, but I’m also curious what purpose connecting a mug to a phone via Bluetooth serves.
It’s to monitor battery life and adjust temperature, you can usually do both via physical interaction with the warmer, but they offer an app that may display more info or allow more precise control over the temp. Usually the app is completely optional.
Imagine being afraid of a Bluetooth device behaving like every other Bluetooth device ever created.
Except that it sounds like this hooked into an app and sent all the info about those Bluetooth devices to the manufacturer, which some data collectors can use process of elimination to isolate you. Normal (privacy-respecting) Bluetooth devices do not pass this info to the service provider and only your phone uses it to pair with the device.
Sounds more like the app presented a standard request for location access, which is required for scanning nearby devices to be able to find and pair the mug with an app.
E: For the paranoid:
https://developer.android.com/develop/connectivity/bluetooth/bt-permissions
You are correct that this is normal for the OS. The OS will use this data to determine your location. What is not normal is abusing the Bluetooth permission to send a list of scanned devices to app vendor. They should only be collecting the location, not the raw Bluetooth list. I don’t know what the app is to confirm, but the way they said it, they would be handing all of the local device data along with the standard location permission. This is the extra data that can be used to isolate you more than just a location could.
This is similar to browser fingerprinting, but worse because your phone goes with you everywhere.
One final mention is that the app is likely not collecting that list once, but rather regularly, so they could build a profile on what devices you’re in range of and by extension where you are regularly, even if you chose to disable your location, since they’re using Bluetooth MAC addresses as their workaround.
No one, not even OP, said anything about the info being sent to the vendor. You’re arguing about a point that you pulled completely out of the aether and which has no bearing on anything in this thread.
I like to imagine the guy who pitched spying on Americans through their coffee makers like “we need to figure out how much coffee Americans are drinking” and everyone in the room was just fully on board with this genius idea.
Oooh new vocab, thanks.
精神分裂症
Jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng
Schizophrenia
精神 - mind/mental state
分裂 - split/divided
症 - illness
謝謝(不,我沒有精神分裂症)
Xièxiè (bù, wŏ mĕi yòu jīngshéng fēnliè zhèng)
Thanks (no, I don’t have schizophrenia)
How do they have reams of data on every American? I’m not following.
Thought that it would be obvious that your $25 smart coffee maker was spying on you.









