• merc@sh.itjust.works
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    5 minutes ago

    Also, it’s always “I would kill for my child”, not “I would take a job at a health insurance company, denying the claims of people who need health care to live for my child”. Always the big dramatic moment, not the mundane daily dreary murder by increments using statistics.

  • Chloé 🥕@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 hours ago

    men in particular say this all the time, too

    “i would kill for my wife” would you do the dishes for your wife? the laundry?

    it’s easy to talk about sacrifices you’re never going to have to do, especially when they make you sound so badass

    but actually doing stuff to improve people’s lives around you is much harder than just talking

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Hell, how many would choose not to kill for their wife? Say someone sexually assaults her and she doesn’t want her husband to kill the perpetrator. Because, I’ve been in a similar position (no opportunity to actually enact the violence though) and I suspect a lot of these men wouldn’t. They aren’t wanting to kill for their wives, they’re wanting to kill to maintain their sense of safety and self image as a protector.

    • daddycool@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      To be fair, how often would you need to kill someone to defend your wife? Dishes and laundry on the other hand, you have to do on a daily basis. Do the math.

    • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca
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      4 hours ago

      “I would die for my wife”

      How about living for them instead? Dedicate your life to them while it’s still valuable.

      • ITGuyLevi@programming.dev
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        2 hours ago

        For years my wife and I have talked about who would outlive the other and we both constantly say the other will (it’s pretty damn sad to think about going on without each other). Very recently I changed my thought process and would prefer to live longer, if only to spare her the pain of going through that feeling of loss.

    • HrabiaVulpes@europe.pub
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      4 hours ago

      I do.

      In fact I do most of the chores in my house because my wife’s hobby requires frequent absences.

      In my opinion “I would cross border for better life for my children” is looked down because it lacks “patriotism” or whatever the call pointless nationalism nowadays. Personally if my country was in any danger of being invaded, you can find me and my family at the border faster than media can send their crew there to film it. And I say it while my country borders Russia.

    • RedGreenBlue@lemmy.zip
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      4 hours ago

      In loving relationships it’s mutual. Wifes would probably also kill for their husbands. The division of labour would also be split somewhat equally.

      When one would do labour or killing depends on context. I’m more likely to accept some labour on request from my spouse, than i am to accept an order to kill their enemies. But we are still honest when we say we would kill for eachother. When it would make sense, in some extraordinary situation, that is. I don’t expect that hypothetical situation to ever come up though.

  • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 hours ago

    My parents tell me they love me unconditionally, but only if I fit their expectations, which I do not.

    • youcantreadthis@quokk.au
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      5 hours ago

      Mine said that a lot but it turns out one never cared at all which I kinda knew and the other decided I was not the kid they wanted and so deserved to die on the street that’s the one who I think died on the street a couple months ago so that’s equal parts amusing and sad

    • thousandyardstare@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 hours ago

      I’m with you on that one. I’m still grappling with attempting to be their good son but also trying to accept myself for who I am right now.

      Good luck, my Fedifriend. Take things one step at a time. You aren’t alone.

      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 hours ago

        There is this saying that is misinterpreted.

        blood runs thicker than water

        People saying this mean to say that family bonds are more important than friendships.

        But it’s incomplete. The full expression:

        blood runs thicker than water from the womb

        Meaning blood bonds, friendships, are stronger than family connections, the water from the womb.

        I have a brother who votes for a conspiracy right wing party. My mother keeps spreading racist slurs and follows right wing populists and media. My father is more like me, but is afraid to get into conflict so he always takes my mother’s side.

        I told them, after countless chances, I’m done with them. I broke off all contact, with a long explanation without convictions, attacks, blaming or what so ever. Just explaining I feel hurt by how I feel treated and I feel helpless as any form of conversation ends in full scale attacks onto me, blaming me for everything, calling me a child in its puberty (I’m 39) who never takes responsibility (while I always take full responsibility for my actions, while they have never done so).

        I’m happy with my group of honest and deep friendships. I don’t need my family. They wrote me out of their will. I don’t care. I don’t need anything from them anymore. I’m surrounded by amazing and loving people, while they are going to die sad and alone.

        • Fart Armpit@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          Too much absolutes. Not enough data for complete analysis. Won’t discuss expression. There are many different expressions, with most of them being controversial. Even from the same authors. Many variables in your life case fit only your exact situation. Your family members are also human beings. Their views are subject of change. From your own words your father isn’t that bad. If others deserved a complete ending of any relations, does he? Just because he’s part of that currently toxic relationships family?

          Now people have a really different life experiences. It’s good if you’re very selective on people and your friends are truly that reliable. Some people have good families and their family members are also good or best friends to them at the same time. The only thing that really matters here is core difference between how relationships function: love of mother/father is completely different from love of wife/husband. Many people are missing this fact. Not much people in our lives are really capable physically, mentally and financially of holding us up in different situations, force majors.

          Friends are also people. They can become corrupted, change into being bad. They can become too busy with their own life problems to have a time to really care about your problems. Family you create is also a different thing. Usually not equals to family you came from at all. You can create it to be also responsible for you, but it’s never intended to be like this. Children detach and start their own families. One of the most shitty fact about families: family members also die. Met one grown ass dude a while ago. He had everything: his own family, good friends, nice job, and generally all percs of such life… Wife and daughter died from cancer. Rest of his children are somewhere else living their own lives. Besties? Too busy. Who took care of him? Government? Lmfao, governments are mostly disabled. Rehabs only made him even more drug addict. And who? Who took care of such a useless, absolutely wasted member of society. His only fate according to modern social morals is to die on cold street as some junkie crap no one needs and everyone forgot. Oh, his mother took care of him nevertheless. Family may be a fallback in emergency life situations.

          However, there are plenty of other cases, when family more ruins people’s lives, than sustains. Some grown ass dude i also met some time ago have a mother who hated his wife for whatever reason and wished to his son to die. Some parents fucking kill their children. Some children fucking kill their parents.

          How i see this situation: it’s complicated, but feels too odd, rather artificial. Totally stimulated by intelligence by various daily psyops. They are interested in dissolution and division in the first place. Surely, in such a wonderful condition, family as phenomenon undergoes many negative changes, degradation. You’ve confirmed political views are playing a major role in process of your alienation from your family.

          Not trying to get ahead of us all, and let’s, of course, see how it goes. But i have a bad feeling, that if it’ll continue down this path, we all gonna die sad and lonely, completely isolated in personal grey wall boxes.

          Well, fuck. Bad words. Wishing y’all a great day tho. Here’s a pic to laugh at.

      • Che Banana@beehaw.org
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        6 hours ago

        As not one of “the golden children” sometimes it’s best to just focus on your (or you own families) happiness.

  • Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 hours ago

    The people complaining about the border crossing thing are logically equivalent to the people getting killed for somebody else’s children, rather than the people doing the killing for their children.

    So that tweet is not a like to like comparison and it IS logical that some people both and at the same time would kill for their children AND dislike people crossing borders for theirs - not the same side of the action and not the same kids.

    The beliefs of the anti-immigrant crowd are Logical if they genuinelly believe that the downsides of immigration for themselves outweigh the upsides. Where these beliefs are open to dispute is in the truthfulness of the “information” which they used to reach the conclusion that immigration is bad for them and in the Ethical and Moral aspect of how they think immigrants should be treated.

    PS: And I just want to add that it’s a personal peeve how the whole Immigration subject has been reduced (probably by slimy Politicians and Think Tanks) to one-dimensionality by both sides of the Identity Politics theatre in broken “Democracies” and then parroted by unthinking simpletons, when even putting the whole “should there be nations and borders or not” aside, I can think of at least 3 different Moral principles that should inform one’s views on the subject of people from some other country coming to live in one’s country: The Duty to Help those suffering (which yields the concept of Refugee), the Duty of a Host to invited Guests (which applies to the treatment of Legal Immigrants) and what is acceptable to do to uninvited outsiders (which applies to Illegal Immigrants who came to improve their personal upsides, not because of “suffering”) all of which yield way more moral conundruns than the one-dimensional take (for example, how bad one’s lot in life needs to be to trigger the Duty Of Help of others), introduces the question of were are the limits of one’s capability to help (the Duty Of Help takes in account on how far one is capable of helping) and even introduces an additional Active element (should we activelly seek the worst off to help them?)

    Without the slimy fake left (or just plain incompetent) politicians doing their loud performative “moralism” on top of the Think Tank created hyper-simplification of the subject of Immigration, the Far-Right would have way more trouble engaging people with their simpleton anti-immigration slogans, because for example only the worst of the worst kind of people would deny the Duty Of Help or the Duty of a Host to invited Guests - this shit should be discussed in the context of a Moral framework, not dealt with with sloganeering.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      I think that your third principle has also been largely damaged as a moral question at least in America. “What is morally acceptable to do to an uninvited outsider?” In a lot of people’s minds the answer is whatever you want. Things like castle doctrine have led to a “shoot first, don’t bother asking questions, just assume the worst” ideology propagating through our culture.

      • Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 hours ago

        Well, in all fairness that one specifically isn’t really a principle and more of a slot were you fit one or more principles, for example the principles behind Human Rights and Justice.

        But yeah, people for whom other people have no inherent rights and whose view in general of what is Just (and hence of Justice) reflects that, will have abhorrent ideas about what is acceptable to do to uninvited guests, so it is entirelly logical for somebody who thinks somebody entering their house uninvited should be shot to also think extreme force should be used against illegal immigrants.

        However, my point is that even such people might be made to have a different views towards Legal Immigrants and Refugees if the take on the whole subject of Immigration also includes the Duty Of Help and the Duty Of A Host Towards Invited Guests.

        As it stands now, such people are simply against “Immigrants” as one big blob.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 hours ago

    Violent racist boomer narcissism strikes again!

    Cherish something and potentially sacrifice yourself for it?

    No.

    No, kill, main, destroy randomly assigned enemies, then tell your kids you did it for them, and they’re ungrateful if you do not worship their hateful bloodlust!

    • Tiger666@lemmy.ca
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      3 hours ago

      They would not hate him for that, they would move the goalposts like they always do for their precious leader.

    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Nah they would flip around and justify the second scenario in their heads. Just like they are defending him for high gas prices after blaming biden for high gas prices.

  • huf [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    7 hours ago

    i think a lot of these people would love to kill, for whatever reason, even for their children, who they otherwise treat as possessions.

  • youcantreadthis@quokk.au
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    5 hours ago

    Well killing is fine especially if its someone who doesn’t look like me but borders are actually important

  • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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    4 hours ago

    This sounds like someone who doesn’t have an actual kid who’s got friends he doesn’t want to lose by moving to a far away place that may still be at risk of a right wing decline by the time we get there too.