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It’s a perfect metaphor for the performative Christianity they love: all show, no effort
He’s wearing a suit for fuck sakes.
You’re telling me they didn’t even nail him to it after?
American style Christianity described in one image.
False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.
Needs a sponsorship. I like the sound of the Fanduel Cross to Bear.
A Nascar logo, the latest shit coin, and Grifters Big Dick Protein Powder.
Arrived from the heavens, died for our sins, but in the third season he was resurrected.
Holy shit this is the most accurate metaphorical depiction of modern Christians I’ve ever seen.
Fun fact there’s a guy in my area who drags around a cross made of recycled oak pieces (bits of old furniture cut and glued together) every Easter. Apparently he made it out of raw spite about performative and hypocritical Christians, he is mildly insane and was not even vaguely phased by my crazed neo pagan schtick so take of that as you will.
I am a little curious about your crazed Neo Pagan schtick.
I was thinking about a full paegan one…
Not much to say about it, I just make batshit insane statements that wouldn’t be out of place in viking themed RPG. Shit like “The Norns must hate you for our fates to cross” and “Thine flesh will make a fine sacrifice to the many named god” note I usually avoid saying Odin since he is still so relevant to pop culture as to be effectively stripped of any erieness same with Thor, so I go down the borderline Lovecraft route of names and titles or I just use lesser known ones like Godin which I think is the Lombard version.
But it’s so heavy though.
It’s probably made out of balsa wood
I’m guessing Papier-mâché
Some go further and abuse it (riding on a notorized cross)
If the cross is notarized, does that mean you have to sign for it?
It is carried by twelve slaves, so you have to command them and this privilege is obviously forged every so often
Forged you say, that’s ironic.
why didn’t Jesus think of that? Was he stupid?
Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he’d tried harder
On the other hand, I think he nailed it.
They didn’t have the wheel in the bronze age 🙃
If Jesus was so smart, why didn’t he think of this? Would have saved him a ton of work.
Clearly not a great carpenter.
Work smart not hard. Probably didnt even need to die for ‘everyones’ sins. Considering most people aren’t Christian. The ROI just isnt there.
If Jesus had put that gold, frankincense, and myrth into a Roth IRA and just sat on it. Well, the church wouldn’t need an offering plate, Ill tell you that much.
They hadn’t invented the wheel yet. I have a degree in history, so you can trust me.
He was just too fucking swole to bother
Simon wouldn’t have to help him carry his own cross, what a loser. The poor guy was just standing there.
Jesus after seeing this pic:
Nowhere in the bible is explicitly written, that Jesus didn’t think of that. Might have had wheels for all we know. Maybe he just skipped gym and was weak af. Or had the wrong wheels for the terrain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Skipped the gym? Not the Christ depicted in so many churches where he looks like an Olympic gymnast, 6 pack and all.
9 pack, he had an extra ab, like Batman.
Well, to be fair, they are idiots…
So. That user name…
I like fisting and so does my fiancée
Mutual?
I’ve given it a go being on the receiving end because I’m no hypocrite, but it didn’t excite me
Did she lose her engagement ring?
Definitely not
Safety first!
Genuine question if you’re a dude, how did you prep to not blow out your O ring?
Maybe hes a wrestler
do you want to hear THAT sound??
In the book, the sound gets to him, it’s core to the scene.
They cut that for the movie and you know for a fact these idiots don’t read, so there you have it.
cool!
