Thanks to the commentator who provided an uncensored version - have a bonus meme

  • Cypress@lemmy.zip
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    3 days ago

    i wish i could communicate with spiders electronically through an application adjacent to direct messaging or group chats on social media. visually and physically they freak me out but if i could have casual conversations with them without having to look at them i would indeed be interested in being friends if the platonic chemistry were right. i would also happily tell them about where i see flies that bother me and places where their webs would be safe from my unintended interference.

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I assume the best you can do is behavior capture and selective breeding. Feed the most inoffensive ones. Kill the ones that violate the treaty. In a few years, you could have a household of nearly invisible spiders that are somehow also always nearby.

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Yeah, I think you’re right. I’m just suggesting we double down so I can get a tiny little collar that says “Muffin5917620384”

      • Axolotl@feddit.it
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        2 days ago

        That’s actually a good idea, though, don’t capture them otherwise you are just making the spider equivalent of a dog

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I’m hoping for something more like cats. They handle the pest control and I just offer them food, shelter, healthcare, entertainment and maybe some scritches behind the cephalothorax from time to time.