• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    6 hours ago

    You’re missing the point and now I’m thinking you’re doing so on purpose.

    The focus should be on getting abusers to stop their actions.

    Would you tell a little girl that her dress was too short and that’s why she was raped? Would you advise her to wear pants from now on because a dress makes it too easy for a man to rape her?

    • lastweakness@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Hmmm, you know, I think you’re being way too aggressive and making false equivalences. No one said the abusers shouldn’t be stopped. My point is, no one was advising “her”, but rather just lemmy. I interpreted that original comment as a general warning on a public forum to everyone. Maybe I was being generous with that interpretation, I don’t know. I do still think it would be the wrong place to try and prevent abusers as I explained in the last comment.

      Obviously, abusers should be stopped, that’s why there are ongoing legal proceedings for the Tesla case (which is what the article is all about). But you need to calm down and read what I’m saying. I think we’re in agreement on the important bits here anyway. I’m mostly just curious about how we interpreted his comment so differently.

      Would you advise her to wear pants from now on because a dress makes it too easy for a man to rape her?

      This, for example, is a comparison that would never cross my mind in this instance since, from my perspective, his comment was not a conversation with the victim at all or even meant for them. So it registers in my mind as being completely different from the rape scenario.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        5 hours ago

        I need to calm down? I am calm. I’m being too aggressive? Where? Those accusations are textbook ways for men to shut women up in debates like this. It’s not a good look for you to try to paint me as angry and aggressive when I’m not.

        It’s not a false equivalence.

        The wrong place to try to prevent abusers, but the perfect place to advise potential victims to change their behavior lest an abuser take advantage? Double standards.

        • lastweakness@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          The wrong place to try to prevent abusers, but the perfect place to advise potential victims to change their behavior lest an abuser take advantage? Double standards.

          I mean, we could discuss the actual facts around what I’ve already described but I now see you aren’t here for that, my bad.

          in debates like this

          Never was a debate for me, but sure. I’m starting to see a pattern here. It’s fine, we expected different things from this conversation. You’re trying to “prove” something, and I’m trying to understand something. Anyway, take care

            • lastweakness@lemmy.world
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              5 hours ago

              Don’t worry, I was the only victim in this conversation but I guess I do blame myself for trying to talk like a normal human being with you. Damn, look at me, victim blaming already. Btw, maybe consider not assuming malice in every conversation? But hey, I don’t expect that from you at this point. You’re probably going to label me a mysogynist instead lol.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                5 hours ago

                Victimizing yourself in a conversation about a woman who was stalked, raped, and abused for years by her ex-boyfriend sure is something you can do.

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    4 hours ago

                    Make sure to tell some little girls out there to not dress so provocatively lest they tempt someone into raping them.

                    Same thing as telling someone that it’s their fault for being abused because they allowed their boyfriend to help set up their EV.