I wish I had your brain. I feel like unless I have a constant stream of information coming into my brain, I might go insane.
It’s awful, and unhealthy, and I’m trying to figure out how to escape this paranoid insanity, but it’s what I’ve got until I can figure out the fix. Reminds me, need to schedule my next therapist appointment.
Do that every day. After a while, you’ll adjust and it wont be painful. Then do 2 minutes. Then do 5. Then do 15. Every day.
Here’s what happened:
You’ve lived your entire life in a bowl of cocaine. You were born into it. When your parents wanted a break, they gave you some coke. When you were good, they gave you some coke. After you completed your homework, you were allowed a little coke. When you grew up, if you feel tired, or feel like you don’t want to do something, you can have a little nose candy to recharge.
If you want to stop using so much cocaine, you can’t just go cold turkey. You need to start by being able to survive one minute at a time without it.
It’s easy to just remove the bowl of cocaine and not use cocaine. But that’s not going to help you practice choosing not to do cocaine when it is available.
unless I have a constant stream of information coming into my brain, I might go insane
I felt the same way. It’s an upbringing thing, and I’m not sure it was due to being raised poor by parents always jobbing – dad was employed for 5 different jobs at one point. I gotta be working.
My wife was raised by parents with job security and lived in one house her entire childhood. Parents were home at 4 and then 5, and knew (and taught) healthy disagreement over contentious issues. Her whole family is a breath of fresh air vs the raccoons my family must resemble.
She took me on a vacation, like the first one I ever had. It was to the Dominican, just some resort (occidental in punta cana). I asked what our plans were while we were there, because I gotta have that calendar full.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
And we did, largely, nothing. 10 days, beach chairs and impeccable waiters at beck and call. We saw the whales and did a snorkel, and we went to the Amelia supermarket for snacks…
But really we sat and watched the ocean. We talked like spouses should, holding hands and breathing easily. There was no work, no issues, no jobs; and, above all the cost of going and staying, the big thing a trip like that did was to get us away from the churn and swirl and rumbling gnawing stress of western life.
You may not realize it, but you need some downtime: real downtime.
Don’t go anywhere fancy, but turn the phone over and just be for a sec. Be you, be present, be interactive, be observant; and just breathe.
I found it life-changing. We don’t go to fancy places very often, but we do reserve some time to be ourselves like that, and it’s a very good thing.
Maybe it’ll help for you too? Either way, I hope you find that balance and sanctuary too, so you can exist for just a calming moment without the fear of missing out on the trivia-stream.
The only way to get better is to stop consuming content! Choose a weekend, tell your friends you will be out of touch, and turn off your phone for a couple of days (if you can’t do that, just shut off WIFI and data so you can still text/call). It really won’t be as bad as you think, and you might even like it - but you will have to do stuff to occupy your hands. Cook, walk, read easy books, exercise, etc.
Belive me, I’ve tried. I’m an asssitant scoutmaster for my kids troop, and we camp about monthly in the summer. So, I’ve got lots of phone free weekends behind me. I’m also got kids in sports too, so go to games and meets.
In the running world, there’s this thing called “Couch-to-5k”. Its a progran that can literally take you from square one - the couch - to a non-stop 5k run. Its all about small gains and slow incremental progress.
A few small conscious efforts to disconnect from your phone every day, even for 15 mins at a time, will slowly add up to bigger and bigger gains over time. If you can break the impulse to check your phone by disrupting the immediate availability of your phone, you might be able to get the ball rolling pretty quickly.
I wish I had your brain. I feel like unless I have a constant stream of information coming into my brain, I might go insane.
It’s awful, and unhealthy, and I’m trying to figure out how to escape this paranoid insanity, but it’s what I’ve got until I can figure out the fix. Reminds me, need to schedule my next therapist appointment.
Exercise:
Set a timer for 1 minute.
Sit down and do nothing.
Do that every day. After a while, you’ll adjust and it wont be painful. Then do 2 minutes. Then do 5. Then do 15. Every day.
Here’s what happened:
You’ve lived your entire life in a bowl of cocaine. You were born into it. When your parents wanted a break, they gave you some coke. When you were good, they gave you some coke. After you completed your homework, you were allowed a little coke. When you grew up, if you feel tired, or feel like you don’t want to do something, you can have a little nose candy to recharge.
If you want to stop using so much cocaine, you can’t just go cold turkey. You need to start by being able to survive one minute at a time without it.
It’s easy to just remove the bowl of cocaine and not use cocaine. But that’s not going to help you practice choosing not to do cocaine when it is available.
I felt the same way. It’s an upbringing thing, and I’m not sure it was due to being raised poor by parents always jobbing – dad was employed for 5 different jobs at one point. I gotta be working.
My wife was raised by parents with job security and lived in one house her entire childhood. Parents were home at 4 and then 5, and knew (and taught) healthy disagreement over contentious issues. Her whole family is a breath of fresh air vs the raccoons my family must resemble.
She took me on a vacation, like the first one I ever had. It was to the Dominican, just some resort (occidental in punta cana). I asked what our plans were while we were there, because I gotta have that calendar full.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
And we did, largely, nothing. 10 days, beach chairs and impeccable waiters at beck and call. We saw the whales and did a snorkel, and we went to the Amelia supermarket for snacks…
But really we sat and watched the ocean. We talked like spouses should, holding hands and breathing easily. There was no work, no issues, no jobs; and, above all the cost of going and staying, the big thing a trip like that did was to get us away from the churn and swirl and rumbling gnawing stress of western life.
You may not realize it, but you need some downtime: real downtime.
Don’t go anywhere fancy, but turn the phone over and just be for a sec. Be you, be present, be interactive, be observant; and just breathe.
I found it life-changing. We don’t go to fancy places very often, but we do reserve some time to be ourselves like that, and it’s a very good thing.
Maybe it’ll help for you too? Either way, I hope you find that balance and sanctuary too, so you can exist for just a calming moment without the fear of missing out on the trivia-stream.
The only way to get better is to stop consuming content! Choose a weekend, tell your friends you will be out of touch, and turn off your phone for a couple of days (if you can’t do that, just shut off WIFI and data so you can still text/call). It really won’t be as bad as you think, and you might even like it - but you will have to do stuff to occupy your hands. Cook, walk, read easy books, exercise, etc.
Belive me, I’ve tried. I’m an asssitant scoutmaster for my kids troop, and we camp about monthly in the summer. So, I’ve got lots of phone free weekends behind me. I’m also got kids in sports too, so go to games and meets.
I’m taking steps but I still have work to do.
Don’t take big steps. Take small ones.
In the running world, there’s this thing called “Couch-to-5k”. Its a progran that can literally take you from square one - the couch - to a non-stop 5k run. Its all about small gains and slow incremental progress.
A few small conscious efforts to disconnect from your phone every day, even for 15 mins at a time, will slowly add up to bigger and bigger gains over time. If you can break the impulse to check your phone by disrupting the immediate availability of your phone, you might be able to get the ball rolling pretty quickly.
Taking steps is already something. Take back those minutes when you can!