Nobody deserves that, but the irony…it’s quite something.

TMI, tangent

God I’d die in prison. Literally death for me, nothing else. I may survive for a minute or two, but I’m anything but the “tough type”, so my demise would be inevitable. In any case, once anyone would find out I have breasts…it’d be game over for me. Hope I never have to go, cause the things that would happen to me…they’re not pleasant thoughts :P

But also, in a weird and self-destructive way…I’m morbidly curious. Curious just how long I’d make it. Curious what would be the exact cause of my doom. I’m just…weird, sorry.

Sincerely, fuck Russell Brand. Fuck that guy.

  • ShadowOfMiisha (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
    61·
    2 days ago

    Yeah :/ I’m legally and officially prescribed HRT, so I’d get to keep being on it.

    Me getting v-coded would pretty much be a guarantee. And I don’t wish it upon anyone, but tbh? I’d deserve it. I’d totally blame myself for it. For letting it happen due to my nonexistent physical strength, for “asking for it”. I probably wouldn’t even bother trying to resist.

    It’s a thought pattern I keep coming back to. I don’t wish it upon anyone but myself.

    So yeah, prison would literally be a death sentence for me. Not that I plan on going, it’s just that it’s game over if I do.

    • nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      21·
      2 days ago

      nobody deserves to be raped, please rethink that mentality. being weak isn’t a reason, wearing revealing clothing isn’t a reason, being inebriated isn’t a reason. don’t place that ratuonaile on anyone, even yourself. you don’t deserve to be violated

    • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      6·
      2 days ago

      Sorry for sounding harsh, but… fucking snap out of that self pity. Idk how, you know yourself best. Hit a punching bag, go for a walk, meet someone cool, imagine a stop sign, whatever. You are the motherfucking captain of your goddamn soul, don’t give in to the psychological bug that is “I probably would have deserved it”.

      Having fantasies is a totally different thing from actually being in a life-or-death situation. Plenty of people fantasise about this kind of stuff, and it is perfectly fine as long as you remember that it is a fantasy and act accordingly. Roleplay with a trusted partner? Sure, go for it, have fun! Actual sexual assault by people who are locked up for a reason? Completely different thing.

      I know, it is hard keeping these things apart, and the brain does weird things sometimes. It is not your fault for having weird thoughts. Period. But you can shape the way you feel, at least to some degree, because you are more than a bunch of stupid instincts and hormones and dissonances.