When I was younger I used to think a drug addict was someone who did drugs in their attic. I always thought it was strange that people had to go up in their attics to do drugs
At some point when I was a young kid and hadn’t learned anything about anything, I got it in my head that “condoms” is an abbreviation for “condiments.”
Fast forward to watching the color drain out from my poor mother’s face at a restaurant when, after being asked if we needed anything, I calmly and with a completely straight face informed the waitress that we could use some condoms.
Just needed some condom mints
The wrong kind of tingles.
The youngster’s precocious, certainly.
Well… he’s not wrong.
He’s not correct, either; he’s just less wrong than he’s correct.
When I was still in junior school, our team lost badly at football. I went home and told my parents we were well and truly buggered. (That’s what Jamie had said and I thought it sounded appropriately drastic.) Mum gasped and sternly said my name, and Dad sternly said that I shouldn’t use that word. I asked why not. Very patiently, he explained to me what it meant. I was a little taken aback and did indeed stop using that word.
In all fairness, it the British peoples’ fault for coming up with goofy names for non goofy matters.
May apologise on behalf of my people. I shall endeavour to only call it rectal intercourse from now on.
When I was like 5, I mixed up spectacles with testicles.
‘I can’t do the test today teacher, I forgot my testicles at home’
Had a teacher who would say “quiz-ee” instead of “quiz”. He stopped the day he said “test-ee”.
Edit: As a bonus, he taught Biology…
When I was 10ish I mixed up organisms with orgasms. Talking to my adult brother-in-law and sister “there are a lot of weird orgasms in this level.” Contra.
Wow, you really like Contra.
Yeah, but in a weird way
Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch.
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For some reason when I was a kid I thought Spanish and Chinese were somehow related.
Sometimes, they are 🤷🏻
(Specific Spanish and Chinese people, I mean)
Chinish Spanese
Damn, they really raped us in the ass out there huh?
Our assholes got obliterated
You ain’t wrong kid
I thought it was “Sodom and Gamera” for way too long. Imagine some giant, fire-breathing turtle out there getting attacked by God for being too sinful or whatever
I mean, there’s no proof the fire that destroyed the cities wasn’t raining down from a kaiju. The only witness was Lot’s wife and she wasn’t saying much afterwards
Turtles aren’t supposed to have jets! That ain’t natural!
Probably not far from what actually happened to the O’s
“We got Gomorrahed out there!”
So many people traveling the Oregon Trial got dysenteried.
Still works
I mean… If it works
How bad did they lose?
O’s have been swept in their last 3 playoff appearances iirc.
(When they learned the meaning they didn’t stop saying it like that tho.)
ngl if one of my kids said this in the same context I’d just respond with the Grizzly Adams nod.
