I’ve come to learn over the years that biggest driving force behind homophobia is not irrational fear or ignorance, but irrational disgust. The most prevalent type of homophobia are the ones who genuinely believe that is something that’s disgusting, gross, and abnormal human behavior. They’re fully aware that it won’t affect them in any way and they’re fully aware that oppressing these people will cause them great harm, but they will pursue it anyway because they think it’s for the greater good. They think it’s something necessary to achieve a clean and healthy society that’s free of filth. This type of homophobia can’t be resolved with simply logical reasoning because often times, the underlying opposition isn’t even coherent, it’s just an emotional reaction.
Don’t like green bean casserole at the potluck? Don’t eat it. No need to comment on it’s existence. It’s not going to jump onto your plate. If someone says they love it, nod, say “glad you like it”, be happy for them, and move on.
How about we just force them to have gay sex? About half of them will hate us and want everyone on their political left to die, so no changes there. And the other half, you know.
I mean, whats the worst that could happen that literally isn’t happening already. I can tell you with full confidence that would sway more conservatives than Newsom promising tax cuts for small business owners.
Never really understood the issue, like it doesn’t detract anything for the rest of us? I am straight, mude aged, married to a woman I have been with for 22 years. Why the fuck should I feel threatened by who someone loves.
For years my attitude to anything involving consensual adults that caused no harm to others:
- Do I have to do anything? No? Well knock yourself out!
(I have recently adjusted my attitude to defend peoples right to do consensual things, as there is so much hate)
My gripe has been more in the lines that why the fuck do you need to show the world HOW you love someone? I support your right to make low suspended from load bearing beams by a metal hook up your anus in a latex gimp suit, but like fuck if I care for you to show me.
Do I have to do anything? No? Well knock yourself out!
I’m in a very much same boat with you on this one. My phrasing is slightly different, but the idea is the very same, if I’m not participating in any way on what you’re doing then go and have fun.
And I’m going to stand between you, gay or straight or whatever, and the individual trying to stop you.
The problem is that even encountering someone of a different lifestyle sets people off.
Like, I should be allowed to hold hands with my partners in public. If we want to wear cat ears or dog collars or pronoun pins or pride flags, there’s nothing wrong with not hiding who we are.
That’s pretty different from asking you to participate in our kinks - but most straight people don’t seem to understand that.
Sex criminals. Completely incurable… I suppose you could outlaw religion and these sex crimes would disappear in a generation or two, but we don’t have time for rational solutions. - George Carlin
Because marriage and sex have historically been used by the church as a mechanism of control to perpetuate Christian hegemony.
Forbidding premarital sex, inter-race relations, and homosexuality makes oppressing people much easier.
This is addressed to the type of person that votes for rapists and cares more about other people’s lives than their own.
My take on this is:
You (homophobes) don’t have to have a gay wedding.
You don’t have to attend a gay wedding.
So why do you need to complain about gay weddings? The number of people who fight against something that completely doesn’t affect them and/or is entirely optional is crazy. Even if your “beliefs” say X is unacceptable that’s a guideline for you not everyone else!
In 2026, an adult in the USA being homophobic or opposed to gay marriage is simply willfully ignorant. It’s not some belief they innocently acquired and never really considered it any further, it’s a specific and intentional choice. Obviously, it’s probably always been that way, but all I know for sure is that this day and age, it’s definitely willful ignorance.
A lot of religion and Bible Belt people are anti-gay and there’s millions and millions of them….
They know.
Sure there are useful idiots in the general population, but those in power (overall) are fully aware that gay marriage is not a threat to “the traditional family”.
They use it as a wedge issue. They use it because the bigots in this country respond to it. They use it because they see it as a tool for accruing power.
Fascists need an enemy, so what better groups to other than the ones that have been on the fringes of society since the dawn of man?
Don’t let them convince you that they just don’t understand. They do, and they will harm lgbtq people anyway because they are filth who will do anything they can to stay on top of the pile.
75% of the right wingers I met are either on at least their second marriage or have cheated on their spouse more than once.
But 2 dudes is what they say are ruining the institution of marriage
It’s important to be aware of the fact that hypocrisy is a feature not a bug for the fascist.
The entire point is to make a system that prioritizes the rights of the in-group at the expense of the out-group. Selectively enforceable laws and norms are preferable. Vague laws and standards are prefered so they can be selectively enforced.
When the supreme court comes out with a non-sensical ruling, its not because they are stupid, it’s because they are trying to build the hypocrisy and selective enforement into the foundation of the system.
Forget trying to make them see the hypocrisy, it’s pointless. We know it’s hypocritical, and they don’t care.
Nice try, wedding planner.
I never got the opposition. The world is such a hateful place, if two people find their person it should be celebrated. Especially with CAKE! and DANCING! More love is a good thing!
Im not a fan of cake OR dancing!!!
But if people make each other happy and i dont have to spend a lot to celebrate that, sure!
But… but… my invisible friend in the sky says he’s going to torture me for all eternity, if I do any gay stuff! Because he loves me!
You know, more gay weddings means more cake.
As an asexual married person, I am adamantly in favor of more weddings. Could even have some fake weddings where the cake is real, trick a baker into making a wedding cake, pay them, but the wedding isn’t real and it’s just a ruse to get more cake!
Wait, is that just buying a wedding cake? Can you just… do that?
Also, I suppose we could try other genres of cake that don’t need such an expensive excuse?
You could also just go to the store and like buy a cake.
But then there’s no planning, no heist!
That actually made me chuckle. Thanks for that. This is why I’m still on the internet.
My wife and I almost had our wedding cake made by the local grocery chain. They had our favorite combinations of flavors and textures, could do incredible decorations, and have an unrivaled reputation for catering, but they only make sheet cakes.
My mom was so distraught by the thought of us serving grocery store sheet cake at our wedding that she offered to pay in full for our wedding cake, but only if we got a tiered cake from the same company that made my sister’s wedding cake. My sister’s cake was sufficiently yummy, and it would save us about $500, so we agreed.
They refused to make the flavor combinations we wanted because it wasn’t traditional, and they forgot to serve the second cake. TWO CAKES?! Yes, my wife and I disagreed on what cake to serve our guests, so we each picked our own cakes and then were going to judge which of us was better at cake-picking by seeing who had the least cake left at the end of the night.
My mom paid nearly $2000 for multi-tiered disappointment, and it was dry. When we went back to the bakery a year later for our anniversary slice, they told us it would cost $50. We decided that wasn’t worth it, so we bought all the cake we could eat from the grocery store with that same money. (COVID prices)
Moral of the story: don’t get hung up on wedding cake. Any cakery bakery can make a cake that tastes like a wedding cake, so take that off its multi-tiered pedestal. If you like cake, then buy it often, and buy it everywhere. When you wanna take a break from cake, custom order a cake for yourself for a future date, use the money from all the cakes you don’t buy during your pastry pause to instead treat yourself to something magnificent. If the bakery asks if you’re celebrating anything, tell them that you’re celebrating how much you love cake.
Reject normalcy, buy the cakes.
Got my wedding cake at the nearest cake shop to where we were having our celebration dinner*, which was a place that specialised in gluten-free cakes.
They were so happy to be making a wedding cake (that they could post up on their website etc) that we paid all of £25 for it. And it was tasty as fuck.
10/10 would do it again
* We eloped, so it was just nice Lebanese food for us and out witnesses :-)
Shit, that’s great! Good for you!
I once attended a wedding in the States once and I still distinctly remember the wedding cake. It was the worst cake I ever had.
It was pretty, mind you. But the texture sucked and it tasted like sugar and fat and nothing else. It was embarrassingly bad. For some reason none of the Americans present saw anything wrong with this monstrosity.
A wedding cake celebrates one of the most important moments of two people’s lives. It’s ridiculously expensive. And Americans either fully accept that it’s a barely edible piece of decoration or they actually have no standards regarding baked goods at all.
(The success of Twinkies does suggest a most unhappy conclusion here…)
Well, my Mark of the Beasus friend, for a country that consumes insane amounts of treats, fats, and sugar, we’ve got really shit tastes. Like, we wanted a strawberry cream cheese icing with strawberry slices in the center with lemon poppy cake. Instead, we got yellow lemon-flavored cake with pink fat 'n sugar icing. I swear, it was like a child made it.
But it sure looked pretty!
I seen people do two cakes: one that’s expensive but is just for looks and one that’s cheap but tasty.
Yeah, we just kinda accept that wedding cake often is aesthetics over taste. Over on the other site, r/fondanthate is a thing that exists so yeah it’s bad. We still eat the shitty wedding cake out of politeness and because it’s still cake.
(The twinkie profits weren’t enough to save Hostess from bankruptcy so they’re not that successful.)
You went back for the anniversary slice? You guys are mad!
“Babe, remember how constipated our wedding cake made you? I loved the way it crumbled into dust like a desiccated chamomile flower. Let’s do that again!”
It wasn’t that bad, plus we thought it would be free, but that was a different bakery that offered a free anniversary slice. Y’know, one year in, superstitions and paranoia started to seep in. We started to fear that by not even trying to secure an anniversary slice, even if it was disappointing, we’d condemn our young marriage to apathy and dissolution.
So, we hopped in the car, drove for half an hour, were disappointed a second time by the same bakery, and then instead ate something that we actually enjoyed.
Sure you’ve had wedding cake, but have you tried leap day cake? Arbor day cake? Hooray it’s Tuesday cake?
But… But… I can still sleep with him, right? He said that wouldn’t be gay, only marrying him would be gay. Right? He said it was in the Bible!
“Yes, homo” he says after finishing inside of you.
